The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this letter the problem of summer accidents involving a kind of transportation mean, mopeds, and pedestrians is addressed and the writer assumes that a 50 percent reduction in the rented mopeds number will lead to a corresponding decrease in accidents. However, there are some missing data that is critical in confirming such assumption.
First, the actual statistics of accidents in the Balmer Island is not included. It seems that the writer is putting the spot light on summer accidents but he did not provide the number of yearly and seasonal accidents to support his presumption about increased number of accident in a particular season. Furthermore, it is not clear whether the accidents are merely due to density of population or due to some traffic management deficits. No doubt that messy traffic management is a major cause of accidents especially in crowded areas, as what is currently happening in third world countries. This way, cutting the rental numbers will not significantly relieve the underlying problem.
Second, it is not clarified whether the pedestrians' faults are the cause of accidents or the motorists'. The authorized statistics about such accidents should be included to show which side is responsible for the problem. It will change the future strategy to confronting the problem; since if the careless pedestrian tourists are to be blamed, they are the side who should be informed and educated to help reducing summer accident rate.
Third, the writer claimed that a peer Island has carried out the same strategy and it has worked out well there. However, the supporting data for such premise is the missing link in his letter. It is definitely crucial to include both the corresponding official statistics and the documented plan that the Seavill's authorities has executed. It is not cleared whether they just limited the mopeds rentals or they did other preventive measures.
Over all, although reducing the number of mopeds may influence the number of accidents but to decide for a 50% cut in rental rate in summer time, when there is a peak of tourists arrival to the Island, there should be realistic evidences and reliable supporting data included.
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flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.776 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5