Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Technology is an important part of our lives. It provides us with many things that facilitate our life and it allows us to improve our daily life as well as our planet. Even though some people would agree that computers have made life more complex and stressful since they invades our life and they have many negative effects on our health, personally, I would agree that computers have made life easier and more convenient for two imperative reasons.
First of all, by using internet, students have a chance to get more information and in easy way. In order for students to expand their knowledge, internet has many advantages because they can browse on the internet any time and any place with abundant of information and resources. Take myself as an example, when I was in pharamcy school, our professor asked us to do research about medicines and he requird a lot of things in that report such as indication of drugs, drug- food interaction, precaution, and even side effects. At first, it was very hard to collect all these information in a week so I was frustrated because I need to take a good grade in this class. Actually, I asked my instructor and he suggested that I can use the internet since I could access on the internet at any time and from my home if i want. In fact, I decided to search on the internet and I spent all the night working on that project. Surprisingly, I found plenty of websites which were beneficial for me and I finished my report quickly and I could save my files in the computer which was an amazing idea to complete my report with time. If ther is no computers, I wouldn't had finished my project with no time. This experience taught me that an advent of computer, students would expand their knowledge and get more information.
Second, computers improve quality of other products. We can see now that many things at work, home, medical, and other facilities are improved by using computers which make products easy to use and more efficient. For instance, computers are used in cars such as through computer the accidents reduced over time because computer inside cars has a sensor which sensitive to any thing and it helps to prevent any accident by giving the driver warning light and this decreases the rates of accidents. In addition, we can see computer are used to increase the value of appliances in kitchen for example, nowadays, I can use mixer and processor to cook and I can finish my work quickly and freely without any effort. As we can clearly see, computers have enhanced our life and make the work more readily and interesting.
By the way of conclusion, based on the argument explored above, I firmly concur that computers have made our life easier and convenient. We should contibute in the progress in the world and to thrive our earth and to develop our life. I think computers are worthwhile to use in all fields of our life.
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- tpo17 80
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Sentence: Even though some people would agree that computers have made life more complex and stressful since they invades our life and they have many negative effects on our health, personally, I would agree that computers have made life easier and more convenient for two imperative reasons.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to they and invades
to get more information and in easy way.
to get more information and in an easy way.
This experience taught me that an advent of computer, students would expand their knowledge and get more information.
This experience taught me that by the advent of computer, students would expand their knowledge and get more information.
the accidents reduced over time
the accidents are reduced over time
computer inside cars has a sensor which sensitive to any thing
computer inside cars has a sensor which is sensitive to any thing
Sentence: Take myself as an example, when I was in pharamcy school, our professor asked us to do research about medicines and he requird a lot of things in that report such as indication of drugs, drug- food interaction, precaution, and even side effects.
Error: pharamcy Suggestion: pharmacy
Error: requird Suggestion: required
Sentence: If ther is no computers, I wouldn't had finished my project with no time.
Error: ther Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: We should contibute in the progress in the world and to thrive our earth and to develop our life.
Error: contibute Suggestion: contribute
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
More sentences varieties wanted. Look, most of sentences start with subject 'I':
'At first, it was very hard to collect all these information in a week so I was frustrated because I need to take a good grade in this class. Actually, I asked my instructor and he suggested that I can use the internet since I could access on the internet at any time and from my home if i want. In fact, I decided to search on the internet and I spent all the night working on that project. Surprisingly, I found plenty of websites which were beneficial for me and I finished my report quickly and I could save my files in the computer which was an amazing idea to complete my report with time'
The big issues of your essays are those examples. You used the language like our daily spoken English. It didn't get any credit but opposite.
solutions:
1. shorter examples: 1-2 sentences
2. no examples but more argument
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2324 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.53 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.492 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.816 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.211 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5