Recent research shows that the consumption of junk food is a major factor in poor diet and this is detrimental to health. Some people believe that better health education is the answer to this problem but others disagree. What is your opinion?
A serious concern nowadays is how our eating habits can affect our health. In particular, it has been demonstrated that eating too much junk food can lead to health issues later in life. One sensible suggestion for dealing with this is to improve the level of health education so that we eat better and live longer. My belief though is that this would not completely solve the problem.
One reason why focussing on health education is an appropriate measure is that it addresses one underlying cause of the problem. It is clear that there is a connection between what people know about nutrition and their eating habits. For example, children who have learned in school about the need to have a varied diet with plenty of vitamins tend to eat more healthily. In contrast, people who have not had this education still eat too much junk food and as a result suffer from diabetes and other diseases.
Better health education, however, is not a complete answer as it ignores the wider social factors that cause people to eat unhealthily. For instance, many people eat fast food because they have a lifestyle that means they do not have time to sit down to a proper meal. Again, other people might eat burgers and pizzas because they are seen to be cool and they want to impress their peers.
There would not appear to be any simple way to deal with these social factors. A difficulty is that it is very hard for governments to make a difference to the individual choices people make. It might help, however, to ban advertisements for unhealthy foods on television and to require companies to provide proper meal facilities for their employees.
My conclusion is that the government certainly ought to introduce measures to improve the level of health education. However, this probably would not be a perfect solution as it would also be necessary to deal with the other social factors that cause unhealthy eating.
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Sentence: One reason why focussing on health education is an appropriate measure is that it addresses one underlying cause of the problem.
Error: focussing Suggestion: focusing
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1550 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.697 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.468 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.299 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5