20 The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.
"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level."
The business manager asserts that restoring the time devoted to weather and local news to former level would attract more viewers and avoid losing advertising revenues, for the reasons that most complaints in the past year is about the weather and local news, as well as local businesses canceled their advertising contracts. Although this assertion seems plausible at the first glance, a more close scrutiny reveals its untenability.
At the first place, the fact that most viewers complained about weather and local news is pretty vague. On the one hand, the author neglects a strong possibility that those complaints are from local viewers. The local viewers are more likely to complain about the decrease of weather and local news. If the television station takes the suggestions of national viewers into consideration, the complaints about weather and local news would be neglectable. On the other hand, even though the viewers complained about the change of television program, it does not mean that the station is not attractive. In contrary, the audience rating may increase because more national news usually attract more national viewers.
Secondly, the author mistakenly equals the lost of advertising of local businesses to the lost of advertising revenues. Since the programs of the television station have become more national, it is a possibility that the advertising of late-night news are more suitable for national businesses rather than local businesses. Even if the local businesses has canceled the advertising contracts, more national businesses may take this place. Hence, whether the advertising revenues are lowered is uncertain. Furthermore, the late-night news program has changed their mode for a year, however, the local businesses has just canceled the contracts. Thus, the author cannot easily attribute it to the less weather and local news.
Finally, restoring the time of local weather and local news cannot guarantee more viewers and more advertising revenues. If this program has attracted non-local viewers and businesses, the program would lost more viewers and businesses once they change their mode. Moreover, the business manager should consider whether they have competitors, which may attract more local viewers and business during the last year.
In conclusion, the author fails to prove that restoring the time devoted to weather and local news would attract more viewers and avoid the decreasing of advertising revenue, at least bases on this memo. To make argument more persuasive, the author should provide more information about the exact viewers numbers and the suggestions of both local and non-local viewers. Additional statistics of the local and non-local businesses would also be appreciated.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- why you think 'more national businesses may take this place'? this is not a loophole.
argue here:
In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us.
suggested:
There might be other reasons that motivate local businesses to cancel their contracts. To illustrate, other marketing methods might be proven much more efficent. Hence, the local businesses might prefer this methods such as internet or newspapers. In addition, other local television stations might propose to air these advertisements for less money and businessmen might prefer these channels.
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 2275 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.353 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.647 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.143 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.424 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5