Nowadays, there are many advanced sources of technology avaliable for all children. Technlogy play an important role in our children lives. Some people believe that today is easier to study for children than in the past. However, when it comes to me I honestly agree that it is a hard mession to study for kids recently for two reasons. I will demonstrate my opinion in the following essay.
To begin with, new technology like cell phones and social media grap the children attention. Nowaday, every student has his own cell phone, many of them take their phones during the classrooms. Students can not focus with their teachers because they are so busy with their phone devices. For example, my cousin goes to a high school and he is been taking his phone every day with him to the school long time ago. He always hangout with his friends over the face book. So, he got distracted and he coud not absorb the information during the lecture. In addiition, sometimes he go online to play games with his friends all day long. As a result, it is so hard for their parents to convince him to avoid using his cell phone. I think he got addicted to his phone. Consequently, his phone became the first priority in his life and he ingnored his educational life. At the end, he could not to avoid using his telephone even before his exams. This experience taught me that the new technology can grap all students attention and it became so hard to get them back to study.
In addition, using the cell phone and playing video game are very interesting for children. Many students are interested to play online games with their friends. in fact, students lost most of their time on the play station and it is really a waste of time. Moreover, Some of them believe that studying is very boring. For instance, i have a duaghter is ten years old. My husband brought her tablet as a gift in her last birthday. Since then she started to watch movies and play games for hour everyday. I could not stop her to watch these. Also, we used to negogiate for long time to get her convinced to study for just couple of hours per week. This is because these type of games are so interesting. On the other hand, before she had this tablet, she was studing all the day long. Besides, I was study for her so easy. As you can see, children are not mature enoght to know how to use their cell phones or tablet and this will hurt their future. In addition, it will be so difficult for parents to study with their kids.
In sum, recently, I believe that it is so harder to study with your children nowadays than before. This is because the new technology grap our student's attention, and they believe studying is very boring. So, we should encourage our children to avoid using the cell phones in the begining of their lives.
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- TPO 38 Integrated writing 52
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...w technology like cell phones and social media grap the children attention. Nowad...
^^
Line 3, column 418, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...ith him to the school long time ago. He always hangout with his friends over the face book. So...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 578, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'goes'.
Suggestion: goes
...the lecture. In addiition, sometimes he go online to play games with his friends a...
^^
Line 3, column 1003, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...me that the new technology can grap all students attention and it became so hard to get ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...o play online games with their friends. in fact, students lost most of their time ...
^^
Line 5, column 241, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ime on the play station and it is really a waste of time. Moreover, Some of them ...
^^
Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing is very boring. For instance, i have a duaghter is ten years old. My husband ...
^^
Line 5, column 497, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...to watch movies and play games for hour everyday. I could not stop her to watch these. A...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, consequently, first, honestly, however, if, moreover, really, so, then, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, in fact, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 82.0 43.0788530466 190% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2292.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 509.0 407.700716846 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.50294695481 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32143568765 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.467583497053 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 715.5 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 20.6003584229 165% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.1252915767 48.9658058833 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 67.4117647059 100.406767564 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.9705882353 20.6045352989 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58823529412 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173699806131 0.236089414692 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0501261400249 0.076458572812 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.039400610227 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113194816412 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0185640115773 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.3 11.7677419355 62% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.23 10.9000537634 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.97 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.