The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors:
“Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term. We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current satellite provider. That company is Techcorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not a monopoly. Thus, the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.
The authors argument to endorse Techcorporation based on the survey looks convincing at first considering that Techcorporation are the ones who developed the satellite technology. But to get enough investors, author would have to give evidence to the assumptions that he has made in the flawed argument.
Author has bluntly mentioned that as per the survey results, people would surely like to switch to other satellite provider. But there are no facts and figures mentioned about how was this survey conducted? How many people participated in this survey? What was the reason for their dissatisfaction? Was it because of the high prices or the poor quality? If it is just because of the high prices, it might happen that the current satellite TV provider may just reduce the price as soon as it gets to know that it is having a strong contender in the market and people might not even think of changing the subscription. Was the survey conducted across the wider area? If it was only one are out of ten areas where at the moment due to some technical problem the current TV provider is not able to provide best service then it is obvious to get the negative reviews as the opinions of rest of the major part were not taken as part of this survey.
Author says that Techcorporation is the one who developed the satelite technology but doesn't talk about their production line. They might have excellent scientist who invented the technology but then do the company have enough resources to mass produce the Set-top boxes required to catch the satellite signals? Have they tasted their technology across wide area? Were they successful with that. Catering to large population is certainly not easy task. People always try to opt the reliable or experienced players. It being new venture of Techcorporation, people might be hesitant in the beginning to go with this new TV provider. So investor would surely like to know if the company has considered all these aspects and what is their plan to tackle this.
It is mentioned that investors would get high returns in the future. But nowhere author defines high. It being a relative term, people might not get returns as high as what they might be getting from current TV provider. Also, it being a new venture, people would like to know the fallback plan. What would happen to their money if Techcorporations withdraw from market or it fails to attract enough viewers which in turn causes immense loss on account of Techcorporations etc. Investors would surely like to get a kind assurance that their money is going into the safe hands and it fetch them real high returns better than their current profits from other business or current TV provider.
Techcorporation being the one who developed the technology, FTA approval and the survey reports do make the author's case a strong one. But it may not be strong enough to pull enough numbers of investors unless author supports the argument with strong teneable evidences and accurate facts and figures which would give assurance to investors for plausible high benefits.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Author says that Techcorporation is the one who developed the satelite technology but doesn't talk about their production line.
Error: satelite Suggestion: satellite
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 522 350
No. of Characters: 2510 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.78 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.808 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.645 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.88 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.777 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument to endorse Techcorporation bas...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at he has made in the flawed argument. Author has bluntly mentioned that as per...
^^^^
Line 2, column 90, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...survey results, people would surely like to switch to other satellite provider. B...
^^
Line 2, column 799, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'provide the best'.
Suggestion: provide the best
... the current TV provider is not able to provide best service then it is obvious to get the n...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...were not taken as part of this survey. Author says that Techcorporation is the ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 91, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...o developed the satelite technology but doesnt talk about their production line. They ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and what is their plan to tackle this. It is mentioned that investors would get...
^^^^
Line 4, column 587, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fetches'?
Suggestion: fetches
...ney is going into the safe hands and it fetch them real high returns better than thei...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...other business or current TV provider. Techcorporation being the one who develo...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2553.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 521.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90019193858 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70330073277 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460652591171 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 787.5 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.4469638197 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.1923076923 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0384615385 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.57692307692 5.70786347227 28% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0929112797826 0.218282227539 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0281050943131 0.0743258471296 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0296196097106 0.0701772020484 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0574808092692 0.128457276422 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.022828616495 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.