An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The author argues that to combat the deficiency of Vitamin A in Tagus, the government has to do everything it can to promote the new engineered breed of millet. While it may be true that the new breed is rich in Vitamin A, the author does not make a cogent case to convince the reader why the citizens of Tagus would readily adopt it. The author's argument is rife with holes and assumptions and thus, not strong enough to convince the government to increase its efforts to promote the new type of grain.
One of the major assumptions made here is that the introduction of the engineered millet grain is the only solution to the deficiency. Despite admitting the fact that the millet costs more, the author has not mentioned other possible solutions of overcoming the Vitamin A deficiency. The question which needs to be asked is whether the new grain is actually rich in Vitamin A. Even if it is so, the author has failed to provide evidence. He/she could have provided lab results showing the content of Vitamin A in the new type and what other beneficial nutrients it can provide apart from the deficient vitamin and these grains would not have any side effects and people need not be skeptical about consuming it. All the above information could have been produced by the author to bolster his/her claim.
The author implies that the seeds will cost more and the government would provide subsidies for farming it. But again he/she has not supported this claim. It may be true that the grains might cost more but has the government really acknowledged the fact it is going to cost the farmers more and is actually ready to provide subsidies. There isn't any proof that says the government has declared that it will be surely providing subsidies to the farmers. Additionally, another question which needs to be answered is : Whether the new grain suitable to grow in the fields of Tagus? There is also a possibility that the new grain might not even grow in the fields of Tagus. The optimum conditions for growing the crop should also be discussed. To strengthen his/her argument the author would benefit if he/she gathers more facts and provides more information about the crops and subsidies.
Another major supposition made by the author is that the people of Tagus would readily accept the new variety of millet. This claim is baseless has to be made after conducting some research using some sample millets cultivated by the development organisation. If the survey/research has a positive outcome then it can be made sure that the people would readily adopt it. Just because it is staple food of Tagus it doesn't mean people would welcome any new variety. There is a chance that they might have been accustomed to the old one and reject the new one. The author does not come up with concrete evidence to buttress his claims.
The litany of unsupported assumptions and dearth of evidence seriously jeopardizes the certainty of the conclusion. Although the author is concerned about the deficiency he/she does not come up with sufficient information thus making his argument weak which is most unlikely to persuade the government to increase its efforts to promote the new millet.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 556 350
No. of Characters: 2594 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.856 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.665 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.519 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.887 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.458 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 340, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ns of Tagus would readily adopt it. The authors argument is rife with holes and assumpt...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...ually ready to provide subsidies. There isnt any proof that says the government has ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 261, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ivated by the development organisation. If the survey/research has a positive outc...
^^
Line 7, column 415, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...t because it is staple food of Tagus it doesnt mean people would welcome any new varie...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 117, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rdizes the certainty of the conclusion. Although the author is concerned about the defic...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 252, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nformation thus making his argument weak which is most unlikely to persuade the g...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, may, really, so, then, thus, while, apart from, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2647.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 547.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83912248629 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58692647407 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.424131627057 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 828.9 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.5666558931 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.88 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.88 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.12 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.315782623706 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0898276331682 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.065684293615 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178443280771 0.128457276422 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0582606716614 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.