The statement purposes that the Diord Corp should implement an action on health insurance based on Tobor Technologies study. It is clear that the Diord Corp does not have data to base the same study on its own company and just want to increase wealth of its employees, which is a good intention but unjustified.
Firstly, the e-mail only refers to the results of the implementation by Tobor Technologies and does not discuss how it happened inside the company and more important the cause of it. As stated, the policy aims to reduce the number of worker’s sick days converting mental illness to the same tractable as physical illness condition. So, the first place would be the search of what is causing the problem of workers in sick days, with this information it could turn to the applied new policy. However, it does not mean that what happened in Tobor Technologies would happen in Diord Corp, due to the percentages of one company is not the same of other.
Likewise, there is a great chance of the new system could not work so well in Diord Corp and also would create new costs and worn for the company. Professionals of counseling and psychologists are expensive workers, which on-site would be very costly and in addition would take working time from the employees and it consequently can reflect in the end of the day with less productivity.
The note states that in one year the result was 10 percent less in the number of sick days, and again there is a lack of data to show this percentages and how the study was conducted, if it was through surveys from the employees, or by the health professionals or even if it was the insurance response.
Yet, it is stated that Diord Corp had an increase in sick days in the past two years which it leads to a question that would be time to search for ways to circumvent this flaw inside the company but such as presented above, implementing the same system of Tobor Technologies would maybe not be the right thing to do.
Consequently, in my opinion, the statement is groundless and not realistic. It is mandatory to have studies earmarking to gather data to build a personalized and fitable system of insurance and psychologist plan to convert this rise of absenteeism into wealth for the employees of Diord Corp.
- The following is from a recent email by the Diord Corp. Human Resources l\Ianager: "Tobor Technologies found that mental health problems and mental illness were responsible for about 15 percent of employee sick days. Tobor amended its employee insurance p 55
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- Argument Topic: "The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced 34
- "The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition." - Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or dis 83
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-recent-e…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 401 350
No. of Characters: 1834 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.475 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.574 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.642 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 110 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.543 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.71 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 135, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...d again there is a lack of data to show this percentages and how the study was condu...
^^^^
Line 11, column 293, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... wealth for the employees of Diord Corp.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, likewise, may, so, well, in addition, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1889.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71072319202 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7326914962 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481296758105 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 569.7 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.4302108356 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 157.416666667 119.503703932 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.4166666667 23.324526521 143% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.5 5.70786347227 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241659396809 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0858877905687 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0442675966624 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114208980005 0.128457276422 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0406702225473 0.0628817314937 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.9 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.63 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.