People increasingly spend their leusure time using computers, for example, surfing the Internet or playing computer games. This has brought benefits but has also created new problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

COMPUTER HAS BECOME MUSHROOMING TREND IN ALL OVER OVER THE WORLD. A SEGMENT OF SOCIETY ADVOCATES THAT USING DESKTOP IS BETTER WHILE OTHERS CONDEMN IT. IN SOME CASES IT IS ESSENTIAL THESE DAYS. THIS ESSAY SHALL SCRUTINIZE THE ADVANTAGE AND DISADVANTAGES WITH OPTIMUM CONCLUSION.

TO COMMENCE WITH, NOWADAYS PEOPLE ARE USED OF COMPUTER-INTELLIGENCE. MOST OF THE TIME HUMAN ARE USING IT FOR WORK AND FOR ORGANIZATIONS, ALTHOUGH, THE MAIN CONCERN TO SPENDING A ALTOGETHER IN TECHNOLOGIES IS PURPOSE TO ACHIEVE THEIR FUNCTIONAL GOAL AND COMPLETE THEIR ACHIEVEMENT TASKS MOREOVER DATA SAVING FOR FURTHER REQUIREMENT. IN OTHER HAND STUDENTS ARE ACCEPTING INFORMATION TECHNOLOGIES FOR ACADEMIC WISDOM AND PREPARING THEIR ASSIGNMENTS AND REPORTS FOR GETTING HIGHER SCORE. AS LONG AS, ENTERTAINMENT, MOST OF THE PEOPLE, ENJOY TO WATCH MOVIES, ONLINE SURFING AND PLAYING GAMES ARE MAJOR FACTS THOSE MOLDING IT MORE FAMOUS IN ALL AGE GROUP OF PEOPLE.

HOWEVER, USAGE OF COMPUTER FOR A LONG TIME HAVE NUMEROUS SIDE EFFECTS ON HEALTH, FOR INSTANCE, THERE HAVE BEEN SOME STUDIES THOSE ARE EXPLORING THE DANGER OF COMPUTER DISPLAY ON HUMAN EYES, AND IT CAUSE INVOLVES DIZZINESS, NAUSEA, BACKPAIN ETC.SECONDLY, IT IS TIME-CONSUMING PROCESS, NOWADAYS MOST OF YOUNGSTER BECOME HABITUAL OF COMPUTER. Nevertheless, COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY CHANGES THE WAY OF WORK GLOBALLY, AND IT IS EASY AND CONVENIENT TO USE. HENCE, THAT ARE ULTIMATE SOME REASON OF PEOPLE SPENDING GOOD TIME ON PERSONAL COMPUTER.

TO CONCLUDE, COMPUTER IS A BLESSING FOR MODERN WORLD, EVEN THOUGH, IT DEVELOPS THE PROCESS OF WORKING AND PRESENT TO EACH PERSON GLOBALLY, MOREOVER THE LARGE CONSUMPTION OF ANYTHING IS BAD, SO BE AWARE HEALTH IS ALSO ESSENTIAL.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: OVER
...TER HAS BECOME MUSHROOMING TREND IN ALL OVER OVER THE WORLD. A SEGMENT OF SOCIETY ADVOCAT...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 172, Rule ID: ESSENTIAL_ESSENTIALLY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'essentially'?
Suggestion: Essentially
... OTHERS CONDEMN IT. IN SOME CASES IT IS ESSENTIAL THESE DAYS. THIS ESSAY SHALL SCRUTINI...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 181, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ONDEMN IT. IN SOME CASES IT IS ESSENTIAL THESE DAYS. THIS ESSAY SHALL SCRUTINIZE ...
^^^
Line 3, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ED OF COMPUTER-INTELLIGENCE. MOST OF THE TIME HUMAN ARE USING IT FOR WORK AND FO...
^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...NTELLIGENCE. MOST OF THE TIME HUMAN ARE USING IT FOR WORK AND FOR ORGANIZATIONS,...
^^
Line 3, column 191, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...HE MAIN CONCERN TO SPENDING A ALTOGETHER IN TECHNOLOGIES IS PURPOSE TO ACHIEVE TH...
^^
Line 3, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...OMPLETE THEIR ACHIEVEMENT TASKS MOREOVER DATA SAVING FOR FURTHER REQUIREMENT. IN ...
^^
Line 3, column 527, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... AS LONG AS, ENTERTAINMENT, MOST OF THE PEOPLE, ENJOY TO WATCH MOVIES, ONLINE S...
^^
Line 3, column 536, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... AS, ENTERTAINMENT, MOST OF THE PEOPLE, ENJOY TO WATCH MOVIES, ONLINE SURFING AN...
^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'causes'?
Suggestion: Causes
... COMPUTER DISPLAY ON HUMAN EYES, AND IT CAUSE INVOLVES DIZZINESS, NAUSEA, BACKPAIN ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 212, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...LAY ON HUMAN EYES, AND IT CAUSE INVOLVES DIZZINESS, NAUSEA, BACKPAIN ETC.SECONDL...
^^
Line 5, column 241, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...SE INVOLVES DIZZINESS, NAUSEA, BACKPAIN ETC.SECONDLY, IT IS TIME-CONSUMING PROCE...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, however, moreover, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, while, for instance, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 7.85571142285 13% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 7.30460921844 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 24.0651302605 71% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 41.998997996 76% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1445.0 1615.20841683 89% => OK
No of words: 267.0 315.596192385 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.41198501873 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04229324003 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05138880553 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 176.041082164 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.632958801498 0.561755894193 113% => OK
syllable_count: 454.5 506.74238477 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 89.3648887054 49.4020404114 181% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.416666667 106.682146367 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.25 20.7667163134 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5 7.06120827912 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.01903807615 239% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208865669282 0.244688304435 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0701639182697 0.084324248473 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441811467271 0.0667982634062 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108217792145 0.151304729494 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.044440652383 0.056905535591 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 13.0946893788 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.4159519038 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.06 8.58950901804 129% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 78.4519038076 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.