Recent incursions by deep-sea fishermen into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, the population should not return to the levels before the fishing boats arrived. Because this trend is expected to continue over the next several years, the Madagascan shrimp will quickly become an endangered species.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Madagascan shrimp is expected to become an endangered species due to the arrival and incursions of deep-sea fishermen. This argument fails to convince readers why Madagascan shrimp would become the next endangered species based on its unwarranted assumptions.
The argument states that the Madagascan shrimp had a significant reduction in population. However, it does not define how much of a significant reduction there was. If there were 5 million Madagascan shrimps originally, but there are now only 4.5 million left, a half-million reduction does not seem very significant. However, if there were a total of 1 million shrimps before, but now a half-million left, the reduction seems much more significant. The usage of statistics would be greatly useful in gauging what a significant reduction in shrimp actually is. Without it, the audience cannot assume that the significant reduction is of significance.
The number of shrimp to repopulate is assumed to not grow back to the level it once was because fishermen would soon diminish the amount again. This sentence is also not proven as it makes two assumptions -- the breeding season is not enough to repopulate the Madagascan shrimp and the deep-sea fishermen are searching for these Madagascan shrimp. The first assumption from this sentience does not provide the reader with any reason why the population of shrimp would not grow back. If the breeding season only allows shrimp to reproduce only half of their current population, then it would be more reasonable to state that their levels would not be the same as fishermen arrive. However, if the breeding season usually allows these shrimp to repopulate fully, then it is not as conclusive that their levels would not be the same before the fishermen arrive. Without the inclusion of the statistics of the Madagascan shrimp breeding season, it would be difficult to prove that levels of shrimp would not grow back in time before the fishermen were to arrive.
The second assumption is that the goal of these deep-sea fishermen is to obtain Madagascan shrimp. Firstly, within the argument, there is no saying of what these deep-sea fishermen even there for. Assuming that these deep-sea fishermen are here to capture aquatic life, it is still not plausible to assume they are there to capture Madagascan shrimp. As deep-sea fishermen, their main goal would probably not just be specifically on the shrimp. They may also be looking at crabs, lobsters, octopus, and many other deep-sea creatures. These fishermen to arrive may not even be looking to capture Madagascan shrimp. Defining what kind of deep-sea fishermen they are and elaborating on the process of the Madagascan shrimp breeding season would be more of an arguable case. Then, the reader is able to know if these fishermen are aiming to capture these shrimp and if these shrimp are usually only able to reproduce about half of its population within one season.
As many unwarranted assumptions are made, there is no reason why this argument is credible in its information.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-09-15 | Deepanshu Dewangan | 37 | view |
| 2019-09-13 | bharadwaj98 | 65 | view |
| 2019-09-13 | solankis304 | 23 | view |
| 2019-09-03 | aneela | 23 | view |
| 2019-08-27 | Lutfor Rahman Rony | 58 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/recent-incursions-…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 497 350
No. of Characters: 2499 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.722 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.028 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.696 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.609 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.222 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, second, so, still, then, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2564.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 497.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15895372233 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76093829662 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.388329979879 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 799.2 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.3562584892 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.47826087 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6086956522 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04347826087 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.340219074113 0.218282227539 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130046111633 0.0743258471296 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683229713371 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177870335311 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0916259583945 0.0628817314937 146% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.