The fact that technology is outpacing the needs of those in cultures that can afford the technology creates culture of excess consumerism.
Human history has never witnessed before the way technological revolution is changing our life. Time saver, usually affordable, availability these are the some of the characteristics which has made technology essential part of our life. As in human nature if we get something useful easily available and at affordable price, we have tendency to consume it in excess. Same has happened with technology too. The populace for which it is affordable and available easily, they have made it essential part of their life and consuming it like any other basic need for example clothes or food. I agree with author on his statement. In todays life, specially in metro cities overconsumption of technology has become a fashion.
Automobiles have become easily available at affordable rates than ever before. Earlier it was luxury to have automobiles but now medium income family and even low income family can afford automobiles. Due to which we can easily see more than needed cars or other vehicles at homes. Almost every adult in the family would like to have a private car to travel instead of using public transport. Same has happened with mobile phones industry, cheaper rates, multi functionality and easily availability has caused humans to have more than one mobile phone irrespective of wether there is need or not. Online shopping or e-commerce, another symbol of prosperity or fashion or luxury life. Now you can buy things, order food at home only with this technology. It has caused humans to buy things or food whenever needed at ease and companies also offer lots of coupons to get money out from customer pockets.
Now a days music is one click away. You have to just open music application on your phone and put headphones on your ear. It has brought a culture of listening music while working. Farmers are using easily available pesticides in more quantity than needed. Author can claim that cars, mobile phones and computers are helping us to get our work done in less time and with more productivity. Author can say that music can help in canceling noise in the surrounding and thus maintaining more focus on work. I can agree with author’s claim with some extent but instead of using private cars, if we travel by public transport or nearby distance can be traveled on buycyle also, that will save fuel, energy which can be used for some other purposed. If noise is the problem at work place then it should be reported to management instead of finding alternate ways always.
No doubt technology has provided us to solve problems in efficient ways but it has made us lazy , overconsuminist too. Technological products consume natural resources in making them. We should use technology very wisely, in a limited manner. Otherwise the day is not far when we will consume all our resources or we will become slave to technology.
- In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field. 16
- A recent sales study indicates that consumption of seafood dishes in Bay City restaurants has increased by 30 percent during the past five years. Yet there are no currently operating city restaurants whose specialty is seafood. Moreover, the majority of f 58
- The fact that technology is outpacing the needs of those in cultures that can afford the technology creates culture of excess consumerism 65
- The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing. "During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hou 69
- In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field. 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 156, Rule ID: THE_SOME_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'same'?
Suggestion: same
... affordable, availability these are the some of the characteristics which has made t...
^^^^
Line 1, column 156, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... affordable, availability these are the some of the characteristics which has made technolo...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: NOW_A_DAYS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nowadays'?
Suggestion: Nowadays
...t money out from customer pockets. Now a days music is one click away. You have to ju...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 7, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'days'' or 'day's'?
Suggestion: days'; day's
...y out from customer pockets. Now a days music is one click away. You have to ju...
^^^^
Line 9, column 750, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ch can be used for some other purposed. If noise is the problem at work place then...
^^
Line 9, column 863, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[3]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
...ement instead of finding alternate ways always. No doubt technology has provided ...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 96, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n efficient ways but it has made us lazy , overconsuminist too. Technological prod...
^^
Line 13, column 223, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a limited manner" with adverb for "limited"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
.... We should use technology very wisely, in a limited manner. Otherwise the day is not far when we w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 244, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...ology very wisely, in a limited manner. Otherwise the day is not far when we will consume...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, then, thus, while, for example, no doubt
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2378.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 480.0 442.535393258 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95416666667 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71929657224 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53125 0.4932671777 108% => OK
syllable_count: 799.2 704.065955056 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.2370786517 133% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.7756263762 60.3974514979 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.0740740741 118.986275619 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7777777778 23.4991977007 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.18518518519 5.21951772744 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166927267394 0.243740707755 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0464629264925 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0382433052354 0.0758088955206 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0995136430737 0.150359130593 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0291620069371 0.0667264976115 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.1392134831 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 100.480337079 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.