Recent research shows that the consumption of junk food is a major factor in poor diet and this is detrimental to health. Some people believe that better health education is the answer to this problem but others disagree. What is your opinion?

Not surprisingly eating too much fast food is going to give rise to a large number of health problems such as obesity and diabetes. To tackle this issue, there is a held view that health awareness is the key to mitigate the adverse effects of non-nutritious food. I think notwithstanding the fact that raising awareness about healthier diets is by far the most promising, the other ways of controlling this trend should be taken into account as well.

First and foremost, media and schools play the most crucial key role in educating people about correlating high-calorie intake to potential risks for health. In this regard, children can have related subjects in their curriculums at school which learn them about nourishments they need to get in a day and also warn them of consequences of fast food and carbonated drinks such as cola on their weight and growth. Besides, media can have a huge impact on encouraging people to integrate more vegetables and fruits into their diets as well as less consumption of sugar and fat. Authorities can make TV series on good nutrition and diets.

Last but not least, authorities or the government can enact laws which limit the affordability and accessibility of junk food. For example, food canteens and buffets at schools should be banned to sell fast foods or French fries along with carbonated beverages. Instead, they should sell packaged fruits and natural nuts to students. In addition, there can be loans allocated to organic food start-ups or restaurants instead of opening a pizzeria.

Based on what has been mentioned, health education is the best way to overcome poor diets; measures can be taken by the government to address this issue.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 69, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...much fast food is going to give rise to a large number of health problems such as obesity and dia...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, so, well, for example, i think, in addition, such as, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 24.0651302605 58% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1420.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 283.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01766784452 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79114816156 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 176.041082164 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.614840989399 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 416.7 506.74238477 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7324754826 49.4020404114 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.333333333 106.682146367 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5833333333 20.7667163134 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.58333333333 7.06120827912 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202242016764 0.244688304435 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0682047229006 0.084324248473 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500033278645 0.0667982634062 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127964896227 0.151304729494 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0515494971416 0.056905535591 91% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 13.0946893788 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 50.2224549098 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.4159519038 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.