telephone calls in Finland

Essay topics:

telephone calls in Finland

The graph above describes telephone time of calls of Finland’s resident between 1995 and 2004 by three categories: local-landline, national and international-landline, and mobiles.

Local landline was the most popular call in this period. In 1995 people did 12000 million minutes of local calls and rise up approximately 17000 million minutes in 2001. Following this year, this kind of calls fell back to 12000 million minutes in 2004.

On the other hand, calls of national and international landline throughout this period increased steadily from 6000 million to more than 10000 million minutes. But then, usage of mobiles which was very small in the first period soared dramatically in the last period.

Although local landline still was the most popular calls in 2004, gap of all indicators become smaller. The range was less than 3000 million minutes. This situation differ from in 1995 in which gap between local and national & international landline was 6000 million minutes, national & international landline and mobiles was also nearly 6000 million minutes, and between local landline and mobiles closely 12000 million minutes.

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people did 12000 million minutes of local calls and rise up approximately 17000 million minutes in 2001
Description: what is the subject for 'rise up'? can you re-write this sentence?

gap of all indicators become smaller
the gap for all indicators becomes smaller

This situation differ from in 1995
This situation differs from that in 1995

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

This is not a good conclusion:
This situation differ from in 1995 in which gap between local and national & international landline was 6000 million minutes, national & international landline and mobiles was also nearly 6000 million minutes, and between local landline and mobiles closely 12000 million minutes.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 176 200
No. of Characters: 935 1000
No. of Different Words: 87 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.642 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.312 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 57 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.883 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.481 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.685 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4