Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now
With ample supply of social media network, it is easy for the public to get more information about famous people. Therefore, privacy invasion has been concerned. Whether celebrity should own more personal space or not has sparked debate among people. According to my understanding, I show the preference for the view that they should not deserve more privacy than now.
To begin with, there are already some measures to take to protect celebrities' privacy. Famouns people are also an ordinary person who has basic human right, which means the governments has shun responsibility to protect them from being invaded privacy. For instance, in China, the government has introduced laws to prohibit misleading and cheating coverage for well-known people. In Weibo, Chinese facebook, if a piece of news that infringes the privacy or is exaggerated is forwarded for more than 500 times, the news releaser would be fined even be put into jail. On the other hand, news censorship is another approach. For paparazzi who want to hit headlines by using other's private information, they are deprived of the quality to be a reporter forever. With such strict rules, celebrity owns more personal space and there is no need to ask for more privacy.
In addition to existing measures to protect them, famous people should be supervised by the pubic because of their great influence on young people. In current society, the entertainment industry has thrived. For example, there is not surprising to see a large number of teenagers holding posters and slogans waiting for their idols in aiports. Thus, the impacts of famous stars on people especially young people should not be overlooked. To state it more clearly, by limited privacy, it is possible for the public to know celebrity’s right and wrong. For the former, we could propaganda what is good deeds of them, which can set good example for young people. For the latter, we can monitor and stimulate them to correct or modify inappropriate behaviors. Take Dream Team, a symbol of Chinese swimming team that has millions of fans, as an example. There was a TV program showing daily life of them. By the TV show, the public have access to know that the team spend nearly 12-15 hours swiming training to achieve their dream and even in spare time, the only thing they do is to read books about swimming skills. Exposed to such details, it is imperative for young people to acquire that it is not easy for the renowned to live behind their fames. As result, hardworking and persistence are aware of by showing privacy. Seldom do people know without more privacy.
From above analysis, we could better know what the privacy means. For famous people, not only they could make much money and own great reputation but also means their self-discipline and responsibility to be monitored by the public. On the other hand, form viewing the personal life, it is necessary for the public to respect the renowned, even respect their privacy.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-02 | YasamanEsml | 83 | view |
| 2023-07-02 | Vivian Chang | 70 | view |
| 2023-04-10 | KimiaKermanshahian | 70 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | sonyeoso | 90 | view |
| 2023-03-27 | mzt123 | 70 | view |
- Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now 95
- Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. 81
- When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects. 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'shunned'.
Suggestion: shunned
... right, which means the governments has shun responsibility to protect them from bei...
^^^^
Line 9, column 93, Rule ID: PUBIC_X[1]
Message: Did you mean 'public'?
Suggestion: public
...mous people should be supervised by the pubic because of their great influence on you...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 253, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...example, there is not surprising to see a large number of teenagers holding posters and slogans w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1009, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'achieving'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: achieving
...end nearly 12-15 hours swiming training to achieve their dream and even in spare time, the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, in addition, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2491.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 499.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99198396794 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63084352733 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5250501002 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 770.4 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.8014204346 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.2592592593 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4814814815 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.44444444444 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157189925967 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0413049890637 0.076458572812 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0579219834854 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109671483358 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0705312629217 0.0645574589148 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.