Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'shunned'.
Suggestion: shunned
... right, which means the governments has shun responsibility to protect them from bei...
^^^^
Line 9, column 93, Rule ID: PUBIC_X[1]
Message: Did you mean 'public'?
Suggestion: public
...mous people should be supervised by the pubic because of their great influence on you...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 253, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...example, there is not surprising to see a large number of teenagers holding posters and slogans w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1009, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'achieving'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: achieving
...end nearly 12-15 hours swiming training to achieve their dream and even in spare time, the...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, so, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, in addition, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2491.0 1977.66487455 126% => OK
No of words: 499.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99198396794 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63084352733 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5250501002 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 770.4 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.8014204346 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.2592592593 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4814814815 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.44444444444 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157189925967 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0413049890637 0.076458572812 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0579219834854 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109671483358 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0705312629217 0.0645574589148 109% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.