Most students must choose their job after graduating college. I disagree that it is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents. I have two reasons to explore about this essay.
First of all, they can decide by themselves. They live in this world, therefore, they gain the intelligence and think while they study in school or live at home they have what they want to do. For example, my friend Paul when he was young, a fire broke out in his house. Then, a brave firefighter saved him, thus, he wanted to be a firefighter ever since. In conclusion, the result changes every time how to people live and think.
Secondly, they have to discover and develop their aptitude. For example, in a movie where the rich are the main characters, main characters’ parents let the child does piano or ballet. Hence, they learned until adult. However, after that there is something they really want to do. Then, they gave up her job and began a new job that she really wanted to do. Also, in Korea parents have a tutor or private coach for their kids, like a musician, or classical dancer to learn new skills. In conclusion, people should have a job that suits your aptitude.
In conclusion, I agree that children must choose a job they want and not follow what their parents jobs are, because they have their own decision and have their own skills.
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- TOEFL integrated writing Chevalier de Seingalt 3
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 52.1666666667 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1194.0 1977.66487455 60% => OK
No of words: 256.0 407.700716846 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6640625 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.48103885553 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4294237196 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 212.727598566 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5625 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 360.9 618.680645161 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.0021801773 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.625 100.406767564 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3125 5.45110844103 152% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.419772642944 0.236089414692 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135050614394 0.076458572812 177% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.225815154116 0.0737576698707 306% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.330885252552 0.150856017488 219% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.264207718341 0.0645574589148 409% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.45 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.65 8.01818996416 83% => OK
difficult_words: 36.0 86.8835125448 41% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.