The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
The recommendation suggests that, since the adult population is increasing more funds should be available for city facilities and programs. Additionally, the recommendation also specifies the number of birth rates and concludes by saying that the number of childbirths are decreasing gradually. So, the funds for education can be cut down during the next decade. Additionally, it also specifies that funding for athletic playing activities and recreational facilities can be reduced. There is no sufficient evidence for the information provided in the argument which can weaken the argument. If the following evidence is provided, it could strengthen the argument.
To begin with, there is no strong evidence that supports the fact that, as the birth rate decreases, the number of students enrolled in a public school will also decrease. The situation could have been that, since some backward classes were not aware of the benefits of education five years go, they didn't enrol their children in school. And as time passed, such parents are noticing the benefits of education and are enrolling their children to school. So, along with statistics for birth rates, if the statistics for the number of students enrolled in public schools is also provided, this would strengthen the argument by supporting the statement that, as birth rates decrease, the number of students enrolled also decreases.
The recommendation suggests that the money cut off from education can be inturn used for city facilities and programs, since, the population of adults is on the rise. This seriously weakens the argument, because it is nowhere mentioned, how the population of adults is going to increase. It only states that birth rates are decreasing and the recommendation committee expects that there would be an adult population rise. The argument could be strengthed by stating that how the adult population is rocketing up. So, as the adult population is increasing, these additional funds can bolster the city programs.
The aforementioned suggestions could provide the argument with a piece of much-needed evidence, that, since the birth rates are decreasing and based on the number of students enrolled in the school, the educational funds can be decreased and since the adult population is on the rise, city programs can enjoy the cut off funds.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1919 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.159 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.858 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.105 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 301, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...nefits of education five years go, they didnt enrol their children in school. And as ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, so, then, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1973.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31805929919 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91372543634 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.43935309973 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 603.9 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.0703921265 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.3125 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1875 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0625 5.70786347227 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1444739013 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0520962059649 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0329896245212 0.0701772020484 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0892968704348 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0267548121015 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.