The graph below compares the changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000

Essay topics:

The graph below compares the changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000.

Submitted by hoainhi on Sat, 03/28/2020 - 15:15

The line chart illustrate information about the birth rates of china and the US during a 80-year period.
Overall, the percentage of birth in US and that of those in China showed a similar trend, fluctuating from 1920 to 1955 and decreasing gradually from 1955 to the end of the period. However, the former was higher than the later.
The birth rates in US experienced a slight fluctuation from 12% to 14% between 1920 and 1940.Then, the figure dipped to 5% in 1945 before peaking at 15% in the next year, followed by a gradual drop to around 7% in 2000.
Meanwhile, a slow fuctuation of 2%, from 10% to 12% in the China’s fertility rate was recorded from 1920 to 1930. The figure peaked at 15% in 1935 before plunging to 5% and remaining the level from 1940 to 1945.After that, the rate of natality in China in 1950 saw a four-fold growth compare with that of those in 1945, from 5% to 20%. There was a rapid decrease from 1955 to 2000 in the figure and ended at approximately 2%.

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Average: 6.1 (2 votes)
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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 88, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... birth rates of china and the US during a 80-year period. Overall, the percenta...
^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Then
...n from 12% to 14% between 1920 and 1940.Then, the figure dipped to 5% in 1945 before...
^^^^
Line 4, column 211, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: After
...d remaining the level from 1940 to 1945.After that, the rate of natality in China in ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, then, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 6.8 88% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 8.0 5.60731707317 143% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 33.7804878049 148% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.97073170732 76% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 805.0 965.302439024 83% => OK
No of words: 182.0 196.424390244 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.42307692308 4.92477711251 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.67297393991 3.73543355544 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52166676717 2.65546596893 95% => OK
Unique words: 96.0 106.607317073 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527472527473 0.547539520022 96% => OK
syllable_count: 223.2 283.868780488 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.2 1.45097560976 83% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.33902439024 184% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.4926829268 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.9680839143 43.030603864 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0 112.824112599 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 22.9334400587 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.85714285714 5.23603664747 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 1.69756097561 177% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.212678978506 0.215688989381 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0992970558515 0.103423049105 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0548877946869 0.0843802449381 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137681183494 0.15604864568 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0290152905548 0.0819641961636 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.2329268293 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 78.93 61.2550243902 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.3012195122 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 11.4140731707 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.06136585366 101% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 40.7170731707 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 11.4329268293 114% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.9970731707 113% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 88, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... birth rates of china and the US during a 80-year period. Overall, the percenta...
^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Then
...n from 12% to 14% between 1920 and 1940.Then, the figure dipped to 5% in 1945 before...
^^^^
Line 4, column 211, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: After
...d remaining the level from 1940 to 1945.After that, the rate of natality in China in ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, then, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 6.8 88% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.15609756098 95% => OK
Pronoun: 8.0 5.60731707317 143% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 33.7804878049 148% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.97073170732 76% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 805.0 965.302439024 83% => OK
No of words: 182.0 196.424390244 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.42307692308 4.92477711251 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.67297393991 3.73543355544 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52166676717 2.65546596893 95% => OK
Unique words: 96.0 106.607317073 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527472527473 0.547539520022 96% => OK
syllable_count: 223.2 283.868780488 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.2 1.45097560976 83% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.33902439024 184% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 7.0 8.94146341463 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.4926829268 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.9680839143 43.030603864 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0 112.824112599 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 22.9334400587 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.85714285714 5.23603664747 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 1.69756097561 177% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.212678978506 0.215688989381 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0992970558515 0.103423049105 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0548877946869 0.0843802449381 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137681183494 0.15604864568 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0290152905548 0.0819641961636 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.2329268293 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 78.93 61.2550243902 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.3012195122 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 11.4140731707 76% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.06136585366 101% => OK
difficult_words: 37.0 40.7170731707 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 11.4329268293 114% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.9970731707 113% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.0658536585 81% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.