Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today's modern world, thanks to these new technologies, there are quite a lot of distractions for children. It is a great challenge for parents to make their children concentrated on their education and encourage them to do better in their schools. While some believe that it is a good idea to pay money to children for their high scores, others think otherwise. I subscribe to the latter view. I believe that encouraging children to do better in their grades by using money will not be beneficial for children. The reasons why I believe so will be elaborated upon hereunder.
First of all, by doing so, children start to think that they should be rewarded for everything, and if they do not get rewards, they feel like they have been punished. If they get money for their high scores, they want money for every good thing they do after a while. Maybe, they expect money on even ordinary tasks, such as brushing their teeth at night or having breakfast before school. My own experience demonstrates this reality. When I was a child, there was a boy who lived next to our house. His parents gave him valuable rewards and good money every time he got a high score in school. After a few months, he expected more money and better gifts every time, and when he did not get any, he felt being punished and behaved in the wrong way.
Second, these types of actions will have a harmful effect on the child's mind. He or she thinks that money is the most important thing to earn, and is the ultimate goal of every attempt. If they get money as rewards every time they get a good score, and since they want to spend that money, they will be tempted to have more and more money. After a few years, they realize that there are easier ways to achieve their primary goal--money. They might get involved in illegal works, or even crimes, just to make money. The statistics have shown that there is a high rate of criminal actions in children of families that try to motivate their young boys or girls by money.
In conclusion, with all this taken into account, I strongly believe that families should not pay to their children as a result of their schools' good performance. If they do so, they will lead children to expect rewards for everything. Also, there is a chance that those children end up being criminals, in order to make more money.
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| 2023-06-27 | YasamanEsml | 76 | view |
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- TOEFL iBTTPO 53 Integrated Writing TaskMany countries require cigarette smokers to pay particularly high taxes on their purchases of cigarettes similar taxes are being considered for unhealthy foods The policy of imposing high taxes on cigarettes and 88
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, second, so, while, in conclusion, such as, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1912.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 422.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.5308056872 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36852579095 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488151658768 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 584.1 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.5918709342 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.9090909091 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1818181818 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09090909091 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.368480398989 0.236089414692 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112204293909 0.076458572812 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0838767399064 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.243145238358 0.150856017488 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0399461941023 0.0645574589148 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.99 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.