Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different construction companies — Alpha and Zeta. Although the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build. However, that building's expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. In addition, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Given these data, plus the fact that Zeta has a stable workforce with little employee turnover, we recommend using Zeta rather than Alpha for our new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs.
The vice president attempted to make a comparative study between Alpha and Zeta construction company in terms of their construction cost, maintenance and electrical costs but failed to provide supporting information. The memo written by vice-president lacks cogency to persuade potential customer to choose Zeta over Alpha.
Firstly, the vice-president recollected an example which occurred a decade ago. Both the companies might have undergone drastic changes since then. It is possible that Alpha provides better services in maintenance and electrical aspects than Zeta in present scenario. It is also possible that Zeta might have lost contracts to Alpha because of the lower construction cost, making Zeta suffer huge loses. Thus, the vice-president should present current status of the companies and a comparison based on recent work for better judgement.
Secondly, the vice-president should provide maintenance cost over the last nine years for both buildings. It is possible that the building built by Alpha had lower maintenance cost over the last nine years and surpassed Zeta last year due to renovation in building. It is possible that building built by Alpha incurred larger maintenance expenses over the last year because of calamity like earthquake or tremors. Thus, the different condition of areas should also be included in comparison.
Thirdly, the vice-president should provide the number of units of electricity consumed in both buildings to obviate differences in electricity cost due to difference in per unit cost of electricity. It is possible that more machinery intensive work is being carried out in building built by Alpha as compared to Zeta resulting in more expenditure of electricity over the years.
From above arguments, it can be concluded that the comparison provided by vice-president is insufficient for choice of Zeta to prevail over Alpha. The current argument is rife and full of assumptions. More detailed analysis is required to find out relevant information to have a clearer option.
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2023-07-26 | Jonginn | 63 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1721.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 314.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48089171975 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.08359368961 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.509554140127 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.7028018151 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.5625 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.625 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.9375 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178767886242 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0607059953419 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0446265714827 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102482181509 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0364525611795 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.27 48.3550499002 73% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1721.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 314.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48089171975 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.08359368961 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.509554140127 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.7028018151 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.5625 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.625 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.9375 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178767886242 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0607059953419 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0446265714827 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102482181509 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0364525611795 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.27 48.3550499002 73% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.