Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, the government plays an important role in the development of the society and every government's decision is significant since the welfare is collected from the citizens. And whether to spend more money on art or on athletics has led to a heated discussion. Personally, I agree with the statement that more money is encouraged to spend by the government on arts than athletics for the following reasons.
Firstly, the funds on arts are mainly for the public, meaning that almost all people in the society have the opportunity to take part and benefit from it. This makes the funds much more meaningful to the society, narrowing the poverty gap within the nation. For example, the government of the city that I live in has spent a great deal of money on the art gallery, which is open to the public for free. I went to the art gallery once it has open, and to my surprise, a men with dirty who seemed to be the poor also went to enjoy the art work. This citizen in the society might not be wealthy and even it is hard for them to keep up their basic life. But thanks to the government, they have this precious chance to go to the gallery and enjoy this kind of social resource. Unlike funds for the Olympic teams that only a small group of people in the society can benefit from it, citizens from children to the elderly are possible to get access to this gallery and enjoy the art atmosphere.
Admittedly, the state-sponsored Olympic team members worth the fund for the hard work they have paid during training for the sake and honor of the country. Only a small group of people in the society can benefit from this funding, which bring less positive social impacts them the arts funds. The national volleyball team who won the champion in Olympic Game from my country has a great number of money for their hard work. But in my opinion, the funds for athletes are only for them but not the public, making this fund less efficient for the social development.
In summary, although the athletes should have been rewarded for their hard work during training, it is more meaningful to spend the money on art for the government. Because art is for public and helps to strengthen the soft-core power of a nation and contributes more to the society.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 468, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a man' or simply 'men'?
Suggestion: a man; men
...y once it has open, and to my surprise, a men with dirty who seemed to be the poor al...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 470, Rule ID: MAN_MEN[1]
Message: 'man' is the singular form of 'men'. Consider using 'man'?
Suggestion: man
...once it has open, and to my surprise, a men with dirty who seemed to be the poor al...
^^^
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...went to enjoy the art work. This citizen in the society might not be wealthy and ...
^^
Line 3, column 725, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y have this precious chance to go to the gallery and enjoy this kind of social re...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, so, then, for example, in summary, kind of, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1855.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 405.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58024691358 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48604634366 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4596558756 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.454320987654 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 572.4 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 30.0829582156 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.9375 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3125 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157238642473 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0699536847454 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0802523269481 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130537927176 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0796021518168 0.0645574589148 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.58 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.