People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Circumstances and situations of life have a powerful driven tools in moving man to actions. The prompt recommended that peoples behaviour is largely determines by forces and not of their own making. In my Opinion, I strongly agree with this suggestion and argue that people actions are largely affected by their conditions and not their own will for two reasons.
To begin, pressure from outside humans surrounding affected the decision and action of man rather than is own desire or self will. For instance, a student whose parent neglected the responsibility of parenting, because of the pressure from his friends, he acted against his own will of being a responsible student, and joined himself with the illegal art of robbing his colleagues of their property so as to meet up with the standard of living. Consequently the student wouldn't have become irresponsible, but because of the pressure from his friend and the neglect of his parent, he become a full time robber and was later expelled from the college. The above example illustrate how powerful situation and condition can redirect man action against his own will or making.
Further, failure to meet up with one desire as a result of hardship and penury can affect human action against his own making. For instance a family that are living in abject poverty and nobody seems to show them love and help, they may feels dejected and may caused them to engaged in money ritual. Consequently, if this family were able to enjoy the good taste of life, paradventure they wouldn't have took part in money ritual.
Of course some argue that forces as no effect or anything determinant on human will or decision, that man acted based on what he want and want he has perfectly think through, however many instance in life shows that people acted based on the pressures, or what they are passing through whether pleasant or unpleasant.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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... not of their own making. In my Opinion, I strongly agree with this suggestion an...
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...onditions and not their own will for two reasons. To begin, pressure from out...
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... own will for two reasons. To begin, pressure from outside humans surroundin...
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...ons. To begin, pressure from outside humans surrounding affected the decision...
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Line 3, column 147, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...s own desire or self will. For instance, a student whose parent neglected the re...
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Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...e or self will. For instance, a student whose parent neglected the responsibilit...
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Line 3, column 215, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...glected the responsibility of parenting, because of the pressure from his friends...
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Line 3, column 258, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ecause of the pressure from his friends, he acted against his own will of being a...
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Line 3, column 321, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...own will of being a responsible student, and joined himself with the illegal art...
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Line 3, column 350, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...le student, and joined himself with the illegal art of robbing his colleagues of...
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Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
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Suggestion: to
...obbing his colleagues of their property so as to meet up with the standard of living. Co...
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Suggestion: Consequently,
...to meet up with the standard of living. Consequently the student wouldnt have become irrespo...
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Line 3, column 479, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: wouldn't
...ard of living. Consequently the student wouldnt have become irresponsible, but because...
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Line 3, column 513, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...udent wouldnt have become irresponsible, but because of the pressure from his fri...
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Line 3, column 589, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...is friend and the neglect of his parent, he become a full time robber and was lat...
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Line 3, column 603, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
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Suggestion: fulltime
...the neglect of his parent, he become a full time robber and was later expelled from the ...
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Line 6, column 9, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...st his own will or making. Further, failure to meet up with one desire as a ...
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Line 6, column 169, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...For instance a family that are living in abject poverty and nobody seems to show ...
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Line 6, column 230, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...nobody seems to show them love and help, they may feels dejected and may caused t...
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Line 6, column 317, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...o engaged in money ritual. Consequently, if this family were able to enjoy the g...
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Line 6, column 352, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ntly, if this family were able to enjoy the good taste of life, paradventure th...
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Line 6, column 377, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...e able to enjoy the good taste of life, paradventure they wouldnt have took part...
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Suggestion: wouldn't
... good taste of life, paradventure they wouldnt have took part in money ritual. Of c...
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Line 6, column 410, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
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Suggestion: taken
...f life, paradventure they wouldnt have took part in money ritual. Of course some...
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Line 8, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...g determinant on human will or decision, that man acted based on what he want and...
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Line 8, column 131, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
...ision, that man acted based on what he want and want he has perfectly think through...
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Line 8, column 162, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'thought'.
Suggestion: thought
... what he want and want he has perfectly think through, however many instance in life...
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...and want he has perfectly think through, however many instance in life shows that...
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Line 8, column 186, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun instance seems to be countable; consider using: 'many instances'.
Suggestion: many instances
...e has perfectly think through, however many instance in life shows that people acted based o...
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Line 8, column 255, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat people acted based on the pressures, or what they are passing through whether...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, may, so, as to, for instance, of course, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.5258426966 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1577.0 2235.4752809 71% => OK
No of words: 320.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.928125 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60571599745 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 215.323595506 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.55 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 487.8 704.065955056 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 20.2370786517 54% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 23.0359550562 126% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 75.9574696135 60.3974514979 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.363636364 118.986275619 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0909090909 23.4991977007 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.21951772744 172% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 30.0 7.80617977528 384% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116201467847 0.243740707755 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.052476453491 0.0831039109588 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.066198067497 0.0758088955206 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0780915210769 0.150359130593 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0665764135665 0.0667264976115 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.1392134831 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.91 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 100.480337079 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.2143820225 121% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.