The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author asserts that parents should choose Mozart School of Music while enrolling their children for music lessons. The author has come to this conclusion on the basis of his/her belief that Mozart is the best school for music as it offers instructions on wide range of musical instruments and genres by some most distinguished musicians in the area, and many Mozart graduates had become well-known and highly paid professional musicians. At the first glance, the argument appears to be convincing; however, on closer inspection, it is found to be rife with holes and unwarranted assumptions. The author should provide additional significant evidences in order to provide sufficient ground for the argument to stand.
First of all, the author states that Mozart welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels. On the basis of this fact, the author naively assumes that Mozart is highly successful in imparting musical knowledge to all the students it welcomes. However, this assumption falls short given the lack of evidence regarding the instruction method it offers to the students of all physical and mental abilities. Since not all the students are equally equipped with physical and mental abilities, these students require diverse teaching methods for effective learning. The same teaching methods used to instruct a normal student may not suitable to instill musical knowledge (instrumental and vocal) to the students who are mentally retarded or visionless and other physical defects. The author should provide reliable evidences regarding the teaching processes Mozart offers to all types of students it welcomes in order to analyze and evaluate the argument.
Secondly, the author cites that Mozart has some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Grounding on this fact, the author prematurely believes that Mozart should be the best musical schools one should choose. However, it might not be true. Mozart includes some of the distinguished musicians does not mean that Mozart is effective in instructing musical knowledge to the students. To be a good musician and to be an effective music teacher are two completely different things like being wealthy and being a magnanimous donor are different. The author should provide persuasive evidence whether these distinguished musicians are effective teachers also in order to support the argument. Further, the author overlooked the possibility of the presence of many reputed musical schools in nearby areas which could have numbers of effective musical teachers.
Thirdly, the author presumptuously assumes that significantly large numbers of Mozart graduates are being well-known high pay musicians. However, this assumption might be misleading given the lack of detail information about the numbers of Mozart graduate each year. It could be possible that 20 students could be able to become successful musicians each year which sounds great. However, it could be, in fact insignificant if the numbers of Mozart graduate each year is more than 1000. The author should provide statistical data of the students that graduates each year from Mozart and the number of graduates which has become successful musicians in order to evaluate the argument.
In sum, though the argument seems convincing, it lacks its persuasiveness due to its reliance upon several unwarranted assumptions. The author needs to provide additional compelling evidences in order to support argument. Unless the author provides such evidences, the argument remains highly dubious and cannot be reasonably established.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 552 350
No. of Characters: 2961 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.847 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.364 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 250 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 183 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 131 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.08 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.602 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 44, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ondly, the author cites that Mozart has some of the most distinguished musicians in the are...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 268, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... it might not be true. Mozart includes some of the distinguished musicians does not mean t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, well, while, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3023.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 551.0 441.139720559 125% => OK
Chars per words: 5.48638838475 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84493438435 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83507578116 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439201451906 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 924.3 705.55239521 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.8325920633 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.92 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.04 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.08 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.333707801756 0.218282227539 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109599191322 0.0743258471296 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105112143958 0.0701772020484 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187513455686 0.128457276422 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.120961742604 0.0628817314937 192% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.56 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.