Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after rollerskating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment.Within this group of people,75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets,knee pads,etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights,glow-in-dark wrist pads,etc.).Clearly,these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment,rollerskaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
The author’s proposal to call for more investment into high-quality protective gear and reflective gear of roller-skating lovers offers an interesting argument but still defective. The statistic the author used as evidence implies three assumptions which require more explanation and will be extended in the following paragraph.
First of all, the author regarding only people going to the emergency room are the mass majority of the people suffered from the roller-skating accidents, which need more survey to illustrate. The hurt of roller-skating varies, and only people who feel immediate uneasy go to the emergency while others may discern their injury after many days and go to normal room to see doctors. If these people were not taken into account, the research result will be incomplete and incredulous.
Secondly, the statistic implies that either people who had not been wearing protective clothing or people who hadn’t been wearing light-reflecting material account for large proportion among those wounded. This argument, however, lacks accuracy. We can’t get access to the exact proportion of each of the two groups, which leads to misinterpretation such as there are only 1 percent of people without wearing light-reflecting gear and undercuts the reliability of this survey.
Finally, the author assumes that the reason for injuring is largely depend on the equipment while other aspects are not taken into consideration. To what extent the accidents are relative to the equipment? This question remains to be answer. If the equipment is only a negligible factor and the real reason is the lack of awareness to safety or else, then the argument will be implausible.
In conclusion, the author should examine the static applied to make sure the survey is comprehensive, accurate as well as reliable to make the argument more perfect. More detail should be elucidate to figure out whether people going to emergency is the major group, the exact proportion of people not wearing those two equipment and the real reason for the accidents.
- Over the past year our late night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news During this period most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station s coverage of weather and lo 62
- The best way to teach is to praise positive and ignore negative ones 58
- The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things 50
- Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after rollerskating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment Within this group of people 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing a 60
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 327 350
No. of Characters: 1694 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.252 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.18 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.895 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.09 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.333 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 375, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'percents'?
Suggestion: percents
...interpretation such as there are only 1 percent of people without wearing light-reflect...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 69, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'depended'.
Suggestion: depended
...that the reason for injuring is largely depend on the equipment while other aspects ar...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 188, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'elucidated'?
Suggestion: elucidated
...ent more perfect. More detail should be elucidate to figure out whether people going to e...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, still, then, well, while, in conclusion, such as, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1737.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 326.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3282208589 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24917287072 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99290471624 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.542944785276 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 540.9 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.6065942005 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.071428571 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2857142857 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.4285714286 5.70786347227 183% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337050676594 0.218282227539 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10206090521 0.0743258471296 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0813677149039 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164782585526 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0745214921699 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.