"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplier of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
While it may be true people will buy fabric overcoats with higher price after five years of production those overcoats again, this author’s argument does not make a cogent case for investing that money. It is easy to understand that the company will make a good profit by selling those coats especially because their major competitor does not make those coats anymore, but the author needs verifiable evidences to prove his/her claim.
First of all, the author does not mention if the new wool fabric which to make alpaca overcoat have the same quality compare to five years ago or not. It is obvious that if the quality is not the same people who are still interested to buy alpaca overcoats after five years are not going to buy those overcoats anymore. Moreover, we do not know if customers are still interested to buy alpaca overcoats after five years. To strengthen his/her argument, the author can take a survey from customers because it can make expected result that is more logical.
Additionally, the author claims that with selling fabric clothes the company is going to make a high profit; however, the author does not give any information about the cost of buying those wool fabrics. For example, If the cost price is high and even people buy them with higher price, still the company earnings will not increase that much.
Last but not least, the author does not say that why their major competitor does not produce those coats anymore which can make different perspective of the result. It may be because those wools fabrics are expensive to buy which can cause higher purchasing price than making money. Or it may be because the new supplier does not provide those wools fabrics with same high condition as before. So, the competitor does not want to produce alpaca overcoats with low quality materials to ruin their company reputation.
The author can make his/her recommendation persuasive when he/she gathers information about the classification of the new wool-fabric, people’s attention to buy fabric overcoats, and also costing and selling price. After answering these questions, the author can make such a conclusion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1745 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.82 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.41 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.596 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.428 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.428 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.229 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, while, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1790.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 358.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50129643985 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.45530726257 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 560.7 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1501542218 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.857142857 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5714285714 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.78571428571 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174181758861 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0726798408091 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0587931718822 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101966211044 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461572514524 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.