“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population.”
In the petition, the author concludes that the land which is under Youngtown Wildlife Preserve should not be given to building a small hotel because it will have disastrous consequences on their area and it will not benefit their community. However, the author supports his conclusion with three assumptions that if not substantiated, dramatically weakens the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all, the writer presumes, without evidence that the land is under Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. However, this might not be the case. Perhaps the land is under the Government and it has the entire ownership of the land. In addition, it is the sole authority and can make any decisions related to whom the land should be given and how the land should be used for the betterment of the country. It is also possible that the Government is using the land for developing the Youngtown area which might have long-term benefits. Or perhaps the Smith Corporation has taken the contract for this project and also has the authority to do anything. if either of these scenarios is true, then the author's contention that the land belongs to Youngtown does not hold water.
Second of all, the author claims that the sanctuary has 300 bird species that live in Youngtown but this may not necessarily be true. It is possible that the sanctuary has only a few species of birds and is claiming that there are a lot of 300 bird species so that they can get ownership of the land. In addition, they might be doing this so that can use the sanctuary for some other purposes like organizing events, shelter for people, or using it as a park so that a lot of people can go whenever they want without restrictions. Perhaps, there might be 300 species but only during summer and then migrate to some other place and they are exploiting this fact to claim they have 300 bird species. For example, in Banergatta wildLife Preserve there are a lot of bird species during winter.
Finally, it is stated that building a small hotel will not benefit the community and have disastrous consequences. It is possible that while building the hotel the Smith Corporation curtail the pollution and build the hotel scrupulously without making a strident sound. It is possible that by building hotels employment opportunities might increase and this, in turn, increases the economy of this place. In addition, a lot of people in Youngtown who are unemployed can get a job. If a small hotel is built then many tourists might visit the sanctuary and this can also increase employment opportunities. People in the Youngtown area can work as tourist guides.
In conclusion, It is possible that building a small hotel will not benefit the community. However, as it stands now, the argument relies on three assumptions. Thus the author needs to provide additional evidence on three fronts: the land is under Youngtown, sanctuary as 300 species, and building hotel will not benefit the community.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-01-15 | Jorobe8 | 68 | view |
| 2022-11-19 | Swarnali Swarno | 58 | view |
| 2022-02-27 | Sumit68 | 62 | view |
| 2021-09-06 | shankar09 | 59 | view |
| 2021-05-21 | Varun Vora | 59 | view |
- It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts 60
- Chevaleir memoir 3
- The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area Although only a small percentage of the land wi 59
- Our current way of life will have a negative impact on future generations 70
- An ailing patient should have easy access to his or her doctor s record of treating similarly afflicted patients Through gaining such access the ailing patient may better determine whether the doctor is competent to treat that medical condition 58
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 501 350
No. of Characters: 2399 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.788 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.634 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.954 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.331 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 645, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... also has the authority to do anything. if either of these scenarios is true, then...
^^
Line 2, column 692, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...er of these scenarios is true, then the authors contention that the land belongs to You...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 302, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'hotels'' or 'hotel's'?
Suggestion: hotels'; hotel's
... sound. It is possible that by building hotels employment opportunities might increase...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 159, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...e argument relies on three assumptions. Thus the author needs to provide additional ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, so, then, thus, while, as to, for example, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2453.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 501.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89620758483 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72374579581 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.397205588822 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.7121392256 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.652173913 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7826086957 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.91304347826 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328510665796 0.218282227539 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100531820747 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638835729264 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.172671438734 0.128457276422 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0716225205123 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.