TPO 54 Writing Independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
most people agree that governments in the world should support arts and athletics. Personally, I believe that governments should spend much more money on athletics events than on arts. I feel this way for two reasons, which I explore in the following essay.
To begin with, spending money on athletics is more effective than on arts. To be more specific, financial support in sportive activities can provide better conditions for athletics and thus could improve the performance of athletes. For instance, when I was in high school, there was no tennis court in my school. my schoolmate was always failed in tournaments because he had no place for training. Afterward, the education administration decided to financial aid to our high school for building a tennis court. Then my friend won the prize several times in competitions. I believe that this aids played an important role in the rapid development of my classmate's skills. On the other hand, financially supporting arts is always not efficient because many arts are not relevant to money. In conclusion, it is more efficient to spend money on athletics, so government shouldn’t spend more money on arts than on athletics.
Furthermore, sports competitions could bring much more economic profits than art exhibitions. The governments can get a lot of revenue by organizing various tournaments. For example, In July, I went to Japan to watch the Turkish archer Mete Gazoz competitions in the Japanese Olympics. it cost me a lot of money not only to just booking a ticket but I also paid for accommodation, transportation in the city, and buying souvenirs for my family. Additionally, TV advertisements with sports stars can persuade fans to buy the products, which could create huge GDP. also, sports stars can create their brands, and these brands could improve many industries and create thousands of jobs. The Air jordan brand owned by Michael jordan is the most striking example of this. Therefore, I defends that government should sponsor athletics rather than arts.
In conclusion, supporting athletic activities has many beneficial such as improve athlete performance and increase the national economy. thus, the governments are supposed to support sportive activities.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Most
most people agree that governments in the wo...
^^^^
Line 3, column 315, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...there was no tennis court in my school. my schoolmate was always failed in tournam...
^^
Line 5, column 287, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... competitions in the Japanese Olympics. it cost me a lot of money not only to just...
^^
Line 5, column 564, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
... products, which could create huge GDP. also, sports stars can create their brands, ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 781, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[1]
Message: The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'defend'
Suggestion: defend
... striking example of this. Therefore, I defends that government should sponsor athletic...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 138, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...ance and increase the national economy. thus, the governments are supposed to suppor...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, so, then, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1886.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 358.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26815642458 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9992040391 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.567039106145 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.8481715945 48.9658058833 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.7272727273 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2727272727 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.63636363636 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254545051661 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795569402938 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0828516086964 0.0737576698707 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.18230710067 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0649755444288 0.0645574589148 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.99 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.