“Monarch Books should open a cafe in its store to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened a cafe. Monarch, which has been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer following because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Opening the cafe would clearly attract more customers. The cafe would require relatively little space. Space could be made for the cafe by discontinuing the children’s book section, which will likely become less popular given that the last national census indicated a significant decline in the percent of the population who are under age ten.”
The argument claims that opening a cafe in its store would attract more customers for Monarch Books. The reasoning for this recommendation is based on several facts: a large customer base, the decline in the percentage of population under age ten by the national census, and a competitor's (Regal Books) strategy for opening a new cafe. Stated this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated.
First, the author states that a recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. This line of reasoning is seriously flawed because it does not provide any statistical data. How much percentage of the total population lives in the area nearby Monarch Books? How much of this population is under age ten? It is entirely possible that the children under age ten are significantly higher in the area around Monarch Books. Perhaps the decline in the overall percentage of the population under age ten could be because of the decline in some other parts of the country.
Second, the argument's proposition that opening a cafe by discontinuing the children's book section, would attract more customers seems unconvincing without any evidence for the same. The questions that need to be answered are: Is it not likely that the popularity of Monarch Books is mainly because of the children's book section? Though the argument mentions that the book store is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects, it does not provide any data regarding the preference of the customers. What if most people buy a book or rent a book and read at home instead of at the book store? Is there any other famous cafe nearby book store? Also, it does not provide any evidence to substantiate this causation relation.
Lastly, the author tries to justify the recommendation by mentioning the competitor - Regal Books, which opened its own cafe recently. What is the impact of this new strategy on Regal Books? Even if it helped them to attract more customers, one cannot ascertain that doing the same would work for Monarch Books as well. Where are the Regal Books located? Is it close enough to compare the customers and their preferences with that of the Monarch Books? If this is not the case, it undermines this justification for the recommendation.
In sum, the argument cannot be evaluated fairly unless all these questions are answered and relevant evidence is provided for the facts mentioned. Without this data, the argument is flawed, and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned: (1) the population percentage for children under the age of ten in the area nearby Monarch Books, (2) customers' preference, or the reason for popularity, (3) evidence to substantiate the reasoning that opening a cafe would attract more customers, and (4) data about Regal Books after opening its own cafe, its location and results of adopting this new strategy.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2434 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.888 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.731 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.604 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, lastly, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2495.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 498.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01004016064 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78036595029 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425702811245 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 795.6 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 78.0752397086 57.8364921388 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.958333333 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.875 5.70786347227 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.371752627435 0.218282227539 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117594301828 0.0743258471296 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.106446541813 0.0701772020484 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.2492584261 0.128457276422 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.111101966549 0.0628817314937 177% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.