The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors in a particular country from 1978 to 2008

The provided diagram depict information about the the propotion of people who belong to the 14 to 50 age group in a nation during the period between 1978 and 2008.
It is evident that the percentage of cinema visitors insubstantially declined from 1078 to 2008, while the number of population who went to the cinema obviously increased.
An inspection of the data in the first diagram clearly show among all the figure, the highet was obeserved in 1978, which belonged to youngsters.In the first of the period, the quantity of people in early adulthood was as twice as than population more than 50 years old when it peaked at 90%. Cinema visitors of the middle aged took place in 3rd in 1978 when it make up 60%.
After 20 years, while the proportion of juveniles gradually climbed up to 83%, achieving the first placs among all. While, the percentage of the middle aged remained stable, there was a fall to 70% of people who from 25 to 34 years old. Smilarly, the quantity of people more than 50 years old also stayed unchanged with 40%.
In the last period, while the number of people in early adulthood reached plateau, there was a steadily drop to 80%. Although the proportion of people who more than 50 years old also ascended, the increase was significant enough, so it stood at last position. The data of people who fall between 35 to 49 years old clearly decreased to 50%, which was same as than the statistic of people more than 50 years old.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ovided diagram depict information about the the propotion of people who belong to the 1...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ovided diagram depict information about the the propotion of people who belong to the 1...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...d in 1978, which belonged to youngsters.In the first of the period, the quantity o...
^^
Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
... aged took place in 3rd in 1978 when it make up 60%. After 20 years, while the prop...
^^^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('steadily') instead an adjective, or a noun ('drop') instead of another adjective.
...ly adulthood reached plateau, there was a steadily drop to 80%. Although the proportion of peop...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.0 100% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 6.8 15% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 3.15609756098 317% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 5.0 5.60731707317 89% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 33.7804878049 145% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 3.97073170732 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1198.0 965.302439024 124% => OK
No of words: 260.0 196.424390244 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60769230769 4.92477711251 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.01553427287 3.73543355544 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48978980126 2.65546596893 94% => OK
Unique words: 127.0 106.607317073 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488461538462 0.547539520022 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 348.3 283.868780488 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.45097560976 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.33902439024 184% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.07073170732 467% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 8.94146341463 112% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.4926829268 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.9785924712 43.030603864 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.8 112.824112599 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 22.9334400587 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.6 5.23603664747 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 3.83414634146 130% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 3.70975609756 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140166419055 0.215688989381 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0712483667165 0.103423049105 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0842674818378 0.0843802449381 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110609232737 0.15604864568 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0777200192684 0.0819641961636 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 13.2329268293 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 70.47 61.2550243902 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.3012195122 96% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 11.4140731707 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.06136585366 99% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 40.7170731707 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 11.4329268293 162% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.9970731707 113% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.0658536585 90% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ovided diagram depict information about the the propotion of people who belong to the 1...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ovided diagram depict information about the the propotion of people who belong to the 1...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...d in 1978, which belonged to youngsters.In the first of the period, the quantity o...
^^
Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
... aged took place in 3rd in 1978 when it make up 60%. After 20 years, while the prop...
^^^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('steadily') instead an adjective, or a noun ('drop') instead of another adjective.
...ly adulthood reached plateau, there was a steadily drop to 80%. Although the proportion of peop...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.0 100% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 6.8 15% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 3.15609756098 317% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 5.0 5.60731707317 89% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 33.7804878049 145% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 3.97073170732 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1198.0 965.302439024 124% => OK
No of words: 260.0 196.424390244 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60769230769 4.92477711251 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.01553427287 3.73543355544 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48978980126 2.65546596893 94% => OK
Unique words: 127.0 106.607317073 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488461538462 0.547539520022 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 348.3 283.868780488 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.45097560976 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 1.53170731707 65% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.33902439024 184% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.07073170732 467% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 8.94146341463 112% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.4926829268 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.9785924712 43.030603864 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.8 112.824112599 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 22.9334400587 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.6 5.23603664747 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 3.83414634146 130% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 3.70975609756 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.09268292683 98% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140166419055 0.215688989381 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0712483667165 0.103423049105 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0842674818378 0.0843802449381 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110609232737 0.15604864568 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0777200192684 0.0819641961636 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 13.2329268293 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 70.47 61.2550243902 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.3012195122 96% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 11.4140731707 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.06136585366 99% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 40.7170731707 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 11.4329268293 162% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.9970731707 113% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.0658536585 90% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.