The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.
"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."
The editorial of a Batavia newspaper recommends that in order to protect consumers in using milk and controlling the producers' profits, government should do positive actions in this area. To support this claim the editorial cites that although number of farms under dairy goods production has increased twenty percent, the price of milk in contrast to predictions has risen too. The argument rests on a series of unconvincing assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, the author bases his claim partly on the fact that the numbers of lands producing diary products have increased so the more production means the lower price. However, the author has not provided any information about population increase in this region. If reproduction and increase in population are high, it is possible that increase in production of dairy products has not been enough to cover growing population. Lacking such cogent evidence I cannot express my compliance to demand of the letter.
Second, In further support of his claim, the memo posits that price of milk has been augmented from $1.5 to $3.0 per gallon. Nevertheless, the author overlooks the possibility that farmers have applied organic matter to raise their livestock. Under such condition, although they pay more, people receive more nutritious product. In other word, quality of product is what we cannot forget in judging price of a product. Without ruling out such an explanation for increase of price of dairy products, the author cannot defend the conclusion that government must intervene dairy production industry to control market and price.
Furthermore, the author just considers the increase in price of milk. However, the author provides no information about inflation, and increase in other areas. In fact, when increasing in price of other goods, farmers have no option except increase dairy products' cost to compensate this increase. Besides, the higher cost of oil means the higher cost of production. Nor has editorial provided enough statistic in this matter, so it cannot justify the claim that government must act in this area to curb the price of milk.
Finally, the author is of the opinion that government intervention in issues of regulating the price of milk can be practical solution. However, government can make condition worse. Perhaps, they do not make enough research to reach correct decision and reality about market. Or perhaps, the government are corrupted and get bribed. Under such condition our expectation of government work is just a dream. The author has ignored providing such condition, so he cannot rely on this issue for solving this problem.
In conclusion, the author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim. To persuade me that government must do something in order to regulate milk price, the letter must be bolstered by the useful statistics about population in this region. The author would need to provide clear evidence that how farmers feed their livestock, whether organic matters are used or not. We would also need more information about the increase in price of other products not only in this area but also in the whole country to reach a correct sight about this letter's recommendation.
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it is possible that increase in production of dairy products has not been enough
it is possible that the increase in production of dairy products has not been enough
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
Need to argue against the conclusion. For this topic it is:
the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 522 350
No. of Characters: 2653 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.78 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.082 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.646 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.779 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.63 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5