In some countries people spend longer time at work Why does this happen Is it a positive or negative development

Essay topics:

In some countries people spend longer time at work. Why does this happen? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people are likely to allocate more time for work. This can be attributed to their demand for income and their huge workload, and in my opinion, it does more harm than good.
The first reason why people work extra hours is that they want to earn more money. The cost of living, such as the rent, the bill and grocery shopping, is increasing rapidly and financially burdening many workers while their salaries can not afford those expenses. This means that they have to do overtime to have enough financial resources to accommodate living expenses. Another reason is their career aspirations. Some workers, especially the young workers and interns, want to gain more knowledge and experiences of their work and improve their competence so that they could easily get promoted in the future. For this purpose, they will try to do everything they can, meaning that they will have to face such huge workloads.
Although I acknowledge the advantages of this trend, I would argue that its potential risks of both physical and mental well-being problems are far more significant. Firstly, spending too much time working means that they might be deprived of their time for relaxation, doing exercises or even eating and sleeping. In the long run, it may cause a lot of health diseases such as digestive disorders and cardiovascular diseases. Moreover, immersing in work and forgetting spending time for leisure pursuits or gathering with the beloved ones can lead to relationship breakdown, stress and depression. All of this will disrupt and reduce work efficiency, thus defeating the object of the extended working hours.
In conclusion, the financial burden and an enormous number of work tasks lead to the tendency for employers to work overtime. Because of its threats to people’s physical and mental health, I consider it an unwelcome development.

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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, so, thus, well, while, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 24.0651302605 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 29.0 41.998997996 69% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1558.0 1615.20841683 96% => OK
No of words: 303.0 315.596192385 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14191419142 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71832620294 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594059405941 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 469.8 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.0996700964 49.4020404114 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.866666667 106.682146367 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 7.06120827912 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180568895275 0.244688304435 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0633333282145 0.084324248473 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500102127611 0.0667982634062 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1124625403 0.151304729494 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0349577295861 0.056905535591 61% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 13.0946893788 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 78.4519038076 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.