Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.
Nowadays, no one can deny the importance of money. Some people may hold the opinion that children should learn to manage their own money at young age. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, obviously, balancing within saving money and spending money is pivotal in life and I stronghly agree with the first group. My reasons and samples listed below will demonstrate my point according to the most common viewpoints.
First let us look at what a person can typically gain from managing his own money. If you know how much money is essential to spend, you save rest of your budget. It goes without saying that, buying many stuffs and goods is desirable among people, and children need to know thay have to control this willing. By way of illustration, when I was a child I like to buy many foods such as chip and soda, but my father teach me to save my money and then buy more significant things including toys and books.
There is also a more subtle point we must consider. If children do not manage their budget they will learn to ask their parents more and more money. Taking may cousin for example, he is seven years old and he take much money each week. By spending all of them, he ask more on the next week and it is not good for a child that only has seven years old.
Finally I cannot oversee the fact that being free to spend money also means buying unhealthy foods and other unvaluable things. To shed more light on the issue, consider a child that has 10000 Tomans, Irainin money, and decides to buy anything that he wants. Clearly, junk foods is one thing that tempts him, and if their parents let him to eat these foods, child will be illness with these type of foods.
Drawing upon the reasons, although ther are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of managing their own money at a young age is very essential. To recapitulate the reasons, children learn buy more essential things, eat more healthy foods and does not ask more than their qouta.
- TPO45-INTEGRATED 69
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- TPO 13 70
- TPO14 - INTEGRATED ESSAY 67
- TPO 13Do you agree or disagree ?The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past? 42
Comments
Essay evaluation report
but my father teach me
but my father teaches me
Sentence: Taking may cousin for example, he is seven years old and he take much money each week.
Description: The fragment he take much is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace take with verb, past tense
Sentence: By spending all of them, he ask more on the next week and it is not good for a child that only has seven years old.
Description: The fragment he ask more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace ask with verb, past tense
a child that has 10000 Tomans
a child who has 10000 Tomans
let him to eat these foods
let him eat these foods
the benefits of managing their own money at a young age is very essential.
the benefits of managing their own money at a young age are very essential. //'benefits' are the subject
children learn buy more essential things, eat more healthy foods and does not ask more than their qouta.
children .... and do not ask more than their quota.
Sentence: As far as I am concerned, obviously, balancing within saving money and spending money is pivotal in life and I stronghly agree with the first group.
Error: stronghly Suggestion: strongly
Sentence: It goes without saying that, buying many stuffs and goods is desirable among people, and children need to know thay have to control this willing.
Error: thay Suggestion: than
Sentence: Finally I cannot oversee the fact that being free to spend money also means buying unhealthy foods and other unvaluable things.
Error: unvaluable Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Drawing upon the reasons, although ther are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule, I do agree that the benefits of managing their own money at a young age is very essential.
Error: ther Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To recapitulate the reasons, children learn buy more essential things, eat more healthy foods and does not ask more than their qouta.
Error: qouta Suggestion: quota
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1625 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.368 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.125 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.307 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... money. Some people may hold the opinion that children should learn to manage the...
^^
Line 3, column 280, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (thay) must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
... people, and children need to know thay have to control this willing. By way of illu...
^^^^
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'takes'.
Suggestion: takes
...r example, he is seven years old and he take much money each week. By spending all o...
^^^^
Line 5, column 265, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'asks'.
Suggestion: asks
... each week. By spending all of them, he ask more on the next week and it is not goo...
^^^
Line 5, column 332, Rule ID: HAVE_CD_YEARS[1]
Message: This phrase is used with 'be': 'is seven years old'.
Suggestion: is seven years old
...nd it is not good for a child that only has seven years old. Finally I cannot oversee the fact t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...child that only has seven years old. Finally I cannot oversee the fact that being fr...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 245, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to buy'
Suggestion: to buy
...ecapitulate the reasons, children learn buy more essential things, eat more healthy...
^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'so', 'then', 'for example', 'such as', 'you know']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.204379562044 0.229887763892 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.192214111922 0.158761421928 121% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0924574209246 0.0866891130778 107% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0583941605839 0.046263068375 126% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0802919708029 0.0685040099705 117% => OK
Prepositions: 0.0924574209246 0.118717715034 78% => OK
Participles: 0.036496350365 0.0351676179071 104% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.22200307481 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0316301703163 0.0309702414327 102% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0632603406326 0.0887237588012 71% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0243309002433 0.0209618222197 116% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.014598540146 0.0139019557991 105% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2047.0 2387.08602151 86% => OK
No of words: 372.0 408.028673835 91% => OK
Chars per words: 5.50268817204 5.86048508987 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.263440860215 0.338922669872 78% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.16935483871 0.251872472559 67% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.112903225806 0.174417080927 65% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0618279569892 0.112833075102 55% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.22200307481 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575268817204 0.524397521467 110% => OK
Word variations: 66.2761811272 59.2087087015 112% => OK
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6684587814 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.6666666667 20.5533526081 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2064460972 48.84282405 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.722222222 120.699889404 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6666666667 20.5533526081 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.666666666667 0.644075263715 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.54480286738 126% => OK
Readability: 37.6021505376 45.7405998639 82% => OK
Elegance: 1.00735294118 1.45489161554 69% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282488447909 0.300154397459 94% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0736436095378 0.103427244359 71% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0836931446519 0.0752933317313 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.502583332819 0.497263757937 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.146840957195 0.151897553556 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105518310056 0.114077575197 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0936366723406 0.0781384742642 120% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.252877648817 0.336927656856 75% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0242377627928 0.067059652881 36% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185191330802 0.210909579961 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0675945853724 0.0618886996521 109% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8870967742 59% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.86379928315 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.91756272401 142% => OK
Positive topic words: 6.0 8.42114695341 71% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.75985663082 181% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 13.6433691756 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.