"During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. A recent government study reports that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Therefore, we recommend that Butler Manufacturing shorten each of its work shifts by one hour. Shorter shifts will allow Butler to improve its safety record by ensuring that its employees are adequately rested."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author has made an argument that shortening the time of shift by an hour will reduce the on-the-job accidents of workers at company Butler Manufacturing. The author supports his argument by providing an example of another company and presenting the study reports of the government survey. However, the author’s argument does not seem well thought through, and he neglects several possibilities that may weaken the argument.
First of all, the author has compared the company with another company called Panoply Industries. The author has mentioned that 30 percent more on-the-job accidents are reported by the Butler Manufacturing company than at the Panoply Industries. The author has also claimed that due to one-hour shorter working time in Panoply Industries, it has less on-the-job accidents. But what if the Butler Manufacturing has less advanced machinery as compared to the Panoply Industries? If this was the case then workers at the Butler manufacturing would work for more high-risk jobs and the chances of on-the-job accidents would, of course, be high and shortening of the working time will not solve the problem. Hence, the author needs to answer the questions which will conclude that the comparison between Panoply Industries and Butler manufacturing is justifiable.
Furthermore, the author has mentioned reports of recent government studies to strengthen his argument. The study reports fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers as significant contributing factors for many on-the-job accidents. From which he lands over the conclusion that shortening of each of its work shifts by one hour will reduce on-the-job accidents. But what if the workers did not sleep in that one extra hour? Then the problem will not get solved and the amount of work done presently will also get reduced than before.
The author also needs to answer, what are the current working hours for the workers? Except for the working hours if the rest of the time of the day is well enough for other daily activities including sufficient sleep then shortening of an hour will be a total waste of time as well as work for the company. It is also possible that the workers become lazy because of fewer working hours and working much less as compared to their potential. Hence, the author needs to consider these points before recommending the solution.
Thus, the author should not make any hasty decisions about shortening the working time of shift by an hour, as it may lead to the loss of the company. Issues like this should be thoroughly investigated before the author’s recommendation is put into practice.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 2148 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.066 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.903 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 533, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ntly will also get reduced than before. The author also needs to answer, what ar...
^^^
Line 4, column 411, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...wer working hours and working much less as compared to their potential. Hence, the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, so, then, thus, well, except for, of course, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2194.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 424.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17452830189 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78994979609 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.445754716981 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 663.3 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.171382849 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.7 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0835252088324 0.218282227539 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0326448313426 0.0743258471296 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0465980132698 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0480665833415 0.128457276422 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0338700380402 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.