The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.
The arguments states that in order to counter the decrease in revenues of the company, the purchasing of raw materials should be taken over by the sales department and manage by a person who knows the properties of metals, typically a person of the research division. stated in this way, the argument fails to mention key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. therefore, the is weak and has several flaws.
First, the argument readily assumes that the decrease of revenues is caused directly from the purchasing of raw materials, but no substantive evidence is provided to support this claim. indeed, the argument should have clearly provided an example to demonstrate that the purchasing is at issue, then the argument would have been more convincing. Furthermore, nothing proves that if the purchasing of the raw materials is properly managed, the revenues will increase. indeed, it is possible factors such as the selling and the manufacturing chain may adversely impact the revenues of the company. No direct correlation can be made between the purchasing and the revenues of the company without a detailed analysis.
Second, the argument suggests to replace the manager in charge of the purchasing by a person who knows the properties of metals. this claim is unsounded and seems exaggerated. On one hand, one doesn’t necessarily need to know the properties of the metals to manage the purchasing successfully, and on the other hand, the company should have thought to alternative and more appropriate solutions. For instance, the company could have given some training to the manager or have allocated a scientist who can teach him the ins and outs of the purchasing of raw materials.
Finally, proposing to replace the manager by a scientist could lead to severe consequences to the company. Although the argument recognizes the knowledge of the manager in terms of general business, sociology, etc., the argument barely evaluates if a scientist could have these valuable skills. Hence, designing a scientist to be a manager may probably lead to less benefits than having a manager.
To conclude, the argument is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. it could be considerably strengthened if the company mentioned all the relevant factors and adopted a more holistic approach. without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1979 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.087 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.904 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.372 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.909 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.445 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.725 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'state'.
Suggestion: state
The arguments states that in order to counter the decrease i...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Stated
...ally a person of the research division. stated in this way, the argument fails to ment...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 376, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...e basis of which it could be evaluated. therefore, the is weak and has several flaws. ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e, the is weak and has several flaws. First, the argument readily assumes that...
^^^^
Line 5, column 187, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Indeed
...ence is provided to support this claim. indeed, the argument should have clearly provi...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 468, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Indeed
...ly managed, the revenues will increase. indeed, it is possible factors such as the sel...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...company without a detailed analysis. Second, the argument suggests to replace...
^^^^
Line 9, column 22, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggests replacing'.
Suggestion: suggests replacing
...d analysis. Second, the argument suggests to replace the manager in charge of the purchasing...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 130, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...son who knows the properties of metals. this claim is unsounded and seems exaggerate...
^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of the purchasing of raw materials. Finally, proposing to replace the manage...
^^^^
Line 13, column 362, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun benefits is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...st to be a manager may probably lead to less benefits than having a manager. T...
^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... less benefits than having a manager. To conclude, the argument is flawed for ...
^^^^
Line 17, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... reasons and is therefore unconvincing. it could be considerably strengthened if t...
^^
Line 17, column 226, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...s and adopted a more holistic approach. without this information, the argument remains ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, for instance, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2054.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 388.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29381443299 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01520727606 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.484536082474 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 642.6 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8522356063 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.111111111 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5555555556 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.61111111111 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.161983634512 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0520630286933 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0459056715182 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.088891176796 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0483670231491 0.0628817314937 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.