The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department
The author’s argument on decline in revenue of the company due to manufacturing delay is flawed. In the argument the author projects the delay in manufacturing as an effect caused due to poor planning in purchasing metals whereas the delay can be due to other units or environmental aspects as well. The author also describes the educational background of purchasing manager rather the professional experience of the manager and concludes the argument inappropriately suggesting to move the manager to sales department and appoint a material scientist of R&D as manager.
Firstly, the failing revenue of the company can be due to delays in procurement of resources, processing unit, quality control or packaging unit etc. As the manufacturing of product involves estimation of cost involved, skilled workmen and machinery aspects the procurement and processing of product may affect the manufacturing of complete product for distribution.
Secondly, Even if the planning of materials, allocation of contracts, finalizing the supplier as executed as per planned the delay can be caused from supplier side due to non-availability of raw metals, environmental and political challenges or agitation by workmen can also cause delay in manufacturing of the product.
Thirdly, The educational background mentioned in the argument logically suggests as he is the right person in for the position as purchasing manager than a research scientist as he has better understanding about the markets trends on availability of materials and other challenges can impose liquidative damages for reviving the cost from supplier. His back ground in sociology will help in subsiding the agitations caused by workmen and provide a solution which is beneficial for both organization and workmen. Where as a research scientist may or may not handle such situations effectively.
As the argument presented by the author is not persuasive as it fails to address the above mentioned items. The argument fails to support the conclusion by the author due to weak evidence. To strengthen the argument the author must provide more logical and statistical information in support of a research scientist.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1810 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.355 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.218 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.327 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.707 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 474, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggesting moving'.
Suggestion: suggesting moving
... concludes the argument inappropriately suggesting to move the manager to sales department and app...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 513, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Whereas'?
Suggestion: Whereas
...cial for both organization and workmen. Where as a research scientist may or may not han...
^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...andle such situations effectively. As the argument presented by the author is...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, whereas
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.6327345309 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 13.6137724551 15% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 4.0 28.8173652695 14% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1863.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 337.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.52818991098 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.27898680083 2.78398813304 118% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.486646884273 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.0761586482 57.8364921388 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.25 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0833333333 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.70786347227 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171568311035 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0649012759335 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0624941595003 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0920819287347 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0783691711801 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 14.3799401198 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.3550499002 72% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.09 12.5979740519 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.76 8.32208582834 117% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.