The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
While it might be true that sales of Whirlwind video games will increase in the next few months; however, the author's argument does not make a cogent sense. It is easy to understand that lifelike graphics video games might be popular to twenty-five years old video gamers, but this argument is rife with holes and assumptions therefor, not strong enough to lead to introduce several such games in a market.
The author implies that Whirlwind video games did not have enough sales in past two years, however the author does not mention about reasons for declined sale. For example, the game might not be affordable for everyone which can be the main explanation for decreased sale. On the other hand, the quality of the game might not be attractive enough to players. To strengthen his or her suggestion the author needs investigations about the explanations of decreased sale.
Additionally, the author mentions that the survey's result shows that players prefer lifelike graphics video games. However, there is no information about the sample group. Imagine just few young boys answered the survey's questions which indicates that the sample group is not big enough. Moreover, the author indicates that the lifelike graphics requires the most up-to-date computers which can be a reason for the company to not have enough sale. Video game players who do not have the most up-to-date computes available are not going to buy such a game.
The author indicates that Whirlwind has an extensive advertising for twenty-five years old group. However, the author does not consider other age groups such as high-school age or over thirty years old group who are interested to buy such a game too. In addition, the author mentions that introduction new version of such a video game is going to increase the sales in the next few months which is not a strong assumption. Only few months might not be enough time for buyers to get familiar with the new kind of video game or to buy the updated computer.
The author's suggestion is persuasive when he or she gathers information about the survey's sample group and the age of video game buyers. After answering these questions, the author can make such a conclusion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 371 350
No. of Characters: 1800 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.389 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.852 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.532 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.024 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.382 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...se in the next few months; however, the authors argument does not make a cogent sense. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e or to buy the updated computer. The authors suggestion is persuasive when he or she...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, moreover, so, then, while, for example, in addition, kind of, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1833.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94070080863 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58002597408 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4474393531 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 562.5 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7307743224 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.823529412 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8235294118 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.33125975028 0.218282227539 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118126951757 0.0743258471296 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0696922869991 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202141431692 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0461524419254 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.