The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Sin

Essay topics:

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:

On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.

The argument claims that reducing the number of products intended to attract younger people by products attracting middle aged people will increase the sales of the store in the next decade. Stated in this way the argument manipulates facts and gives a distorted view of the situation. The conclusion of the argument is rife with holes and assumptions for which there is no transpicuous evidence. Hence, the argument lacks perspicuity and has several imperfections.

Primarily, the argument claims that the revenue for the middle aged and the younger people is same. If younger people earned more, for example, $200 and 25 % of it would be $50. And if the middle aged people earned only $100 and 39 % of it would be $39. In this case the department store gets more sales from the younger people. Replacing the products will only lead to a loss for the departmental store.

Secondly, the argument readily assumes that the average amount of the revenue spent by the people is correct. If the expenditure of both is 100 and 39 percent spent by the middle aged people would be 39 and similarly amount spent by younger people will be 25. A difference of 14 would not be a greater difference that the store can get. If the amount is huge, the argument is valid. But no such evidence is shown.

Next in line, the argument asserts that after ten years the revenue would increase if the store replaces some of the products for middle aged people. The argument is flawed because the preference of people after years could change. The younger people now will be the middle aged people ten years later. So, their preference to the department store would be the same and there is no proof that it will increase.

Finally, we are left with so many questions about how the store came to such a conclusion. Was a survey conducted? If there was a survey, were the number of men and women equal? Are the preference of the men and women same all through the year? Were the number of people in all age groups equal? Without unassailable answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than a substantive evidence.

In its totality, the argument has too many obtensibly related facts and has several questions. It would be considerably strengthened if the author provided relevant facts. If not the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 219, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...if the middle aged people earned only 00 and 39 % of it would be 9. In this case ...
^^
Line 5, column 144, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rrect. If the expenditure of both is 100 and 39 percent spent by the middle aged...
^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f the expenditure of both is 100 and 39 percent spent by the middle aged people ...
^^
Line 7, column 106, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ue would increase if the store replaces some of the products for middle aged people. The ar...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 245, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'peoples'.
Suggestion: peoples
...e after years could change. The younger people now will be the middle aged people ten ...
^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'finally', 'hence', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'similarly', 'so', 'then', 'as to', 'for example']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.221006564551 0.25644967241 86% => OK
Verbs: 0.146608315098 0.15541462614 94% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0984682713348 0.0836205057962 118% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0393873085339 0.0520304965353 76% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0153172866521 0.0272364105082 56% => OK
Prepositions: 0.124726477024 0.125424944231 99% => OK
Participles: 0.035010940919 0.0416121511921 84% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.61571665648 2.79052419416 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0131291028446 0.026700313972 49% => Some infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.148796498906 0.113004496875 132% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0306345733042 0.0255425247493 120% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00437636761488 0.0127820249294 34% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2398.0 2731.13054187 88% => OK
No of words: 418.0 446.07635468 94% => OK
Chars per words: 5.73684210526 6.12365571057 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.57801047555 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.327751196172 0.378187486979 87% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.227272727273 0.287650121315 79% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.155502392344 0.208842608468 74% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0909090909091 0.135150697306 67% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61571665648 2.79052419416 94% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 207.018472906 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423444976077 0.469332199767 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 45.34076969 52.1807786196 87% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 20.039408867 135% => OK
Sentence length: 15.4814814815 23.2022227129 67% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.2572334626 57.7814097925 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.8148148148 141.986410481 63% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4814814815 23.2022227129 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.407407407407 0.724660767414 56% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 38.2087542088 51.9672348444 74% => OK
Elegance: 1.89130434783 1.8405768891 103% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.446908492357 0.441005458295 101% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.152363451234 0.135418324435 113% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.130013977211 0.0829849096947 157% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.566326018553 0.58762219726 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.146963962036 0.147661913831 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.183590633996 0.193483328276 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0852007002947 0.0970749176394 88% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.484860270739 0.42659136922 114% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.128888346822 0.0774707102158 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.308974843559 0.312017818177 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0778981049543 0.0698173142475 112% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.87684729064 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.82512315271 166% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 11.0 5.36822660099 205% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 23.0 14.657635468 157% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.