The following appeared in a health newsletter A fifteen year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing protective gear while skating indicates that fifteen years ago approximately 40 percent of all skaters reported wearing protective gear whereas t

The author of above argument starts by saying that he has come to the conclusion on the basis of a fifteen-year nationwide study. He has tried to jump to an optimistic conclusion based on irrelevant and baseless assumptions. He suggests that government should start an education program that concentrates on factors other than protective gear use which are necessary to ensure safety while skating. Even if the government acts according to his suggestions, it may not be possible that number of accidents happened during skating are reduced.

The study focuses on effectiveness of wearing protective gear while skating. Fifteen years ago, approximately 40 percent of all skaters reported wearing protective gear. The percentage might be less due to the fact that skating may not be as popular during that time as it is today. Remaining 60 percent who played skating just did it for enjoyment and not as a serious sport. It is not mentioned that among whom is the survey conducted. Also, the location of where the survey was conducted is not mentioned. The survey might have been conducted in areas where skating is not popular. So, the people in that area were not aware of safety precautions and measures needed to be taken while skating.

Today, around 85 percent of all skaters wear protective gear. It is no doubt that the number has significantly increased. Many sports clubs who host skating grounds do not allow skaters without protective gear. Due to this fact, the number may have increased from 40 to 85 percent. It is not mentioned anywhere that the survey conducted recently was among the same people who were surveyed 15 years ago. It may be possible that the recent survey was conducted in a skating club. The author has not mentioned any clear details about both surveys. Reaching to a conclusion with incomplete data is not beneficial.

It is necessary that author should consider the details of the study conducted 15 years ago. He says that skaters feel safer in protective gear which induces them to take more risks. The place in which the study was conducted is not mentioned. It should be taken into consideration that the place may not have appropriate traffic measures which leads to more accidents. If this is true, then wearing protective gears will not be of any benefit to the skaters. Again, the author has reached a baseless conclusion on incomplete data.

Votes
Average: 6 (2 votes)
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, may, so, then, while, no doubt

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1996.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 402.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96517412935 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71065760689 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.47263681592 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.3834688115 57.8364921388 49% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.7692307692 119.503703932 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4615384615 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.53846153846 5.70786347227 27% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337906094217 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0975740531568 0.0743258471296 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.154379037472 0.0701772020484 220% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208130954645 0.128457276422 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0760175234113 0.0628817314937 121% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 14.3799401198 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.25 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 1946 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.841 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.658 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.717 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.441 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5