The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
While it maybe true that corporate will save more money with reducing the water pressure of showerheads in the Sunnyside Tower complex, this author’s argument does not make a cogent case to increase profit. It is easy to understand that with only few complaints from first three building other nine building might be fine with the showerheads’ adjustments too, but the author needs verifiable evidences to prove his/her claim.
First of all, the author mentions that only few complaints about low water pressure have been reported from three building since last month; however, the author does not mention the total number of residents and total number of complaints from those three buildings. Also, complains are just for last month which are not good enough because the owner of the complex might get more complaints in the future from those same three building.
Moreover, the author promises high profits for the corporation without knowing the exact usage of water before and after showerheads changes. The author just accepts that people are going to use less water with the new showerhead changes, but probably, residents are going to spend more time to use water because the pressure is lower than before. Thus, the corporate will not save money as the author promises because more water will be used and they should pay for it.
In addition, the author concludes that same number of residents for other nine building are going to complain like those three buildings; however, people living in other nine building might have different reactions to water flow adjustment compare to residents in first three buildings. For example, residents in other nine building might be more busy employees with less extra time to spend under shower which can bring the number of complaints higher than number of complaints in the first three buildings.
Lastly but not least, indicating the range age of population of each building is important because it can affect the numbers of complaints. For example, it might be more elderly and retirement residents in the first three building which can result in less complains because usually elderly have more time to spend under shower. On the other hand, the range age for other nine building can be from parents’ population which is probably going to bring more complaints about the water pressure change. The reason is because parents are already so busy with their works and kids. Thus, they might get more frustrated to spend more time under shower.
The author can make his/her claims persuasive when he/she gathers information about age group and total number occupied residents per building and also the water usage number before and after showerheads changes.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 447 350
No. of Characters: 2222 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.598 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.971 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.307 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.232 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.413 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.413 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 438, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... future from those same three building. Moreover, the author promises high profi...
^^^
Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: REASON_IS_BECAUSE[1]
Message: Probably an incorrect phrase. Use 'the reason 'is that''.
Suggestion: is that
...t the water pressure change. The reason is because parents are already so busy with their ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 647, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...trated to spend more time under shower. The author can make his/her claims persu...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, so, thus, while, for example, in addition, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2278.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 444.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13063063063 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39802576187 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.416666666667 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.1893309113 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.866666667 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.6 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.53333333333 5.70786347227 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.161268434331 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0623005430077 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0440578788372 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0965680942382 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0516497368873 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.07 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.