The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in the memo that, Buckingham College should build new dormitories. Additionally, director bolsters his argument by stating that, college enrollment is growing and in coming 50 years it will be over double. Moreover, it is also claimed that rent of the off campus housing is burgeoning so coming years student will not able to afford it and they will get entice towards the college dormitories. However, before recommendation can properly evaluate some question must be answer.
Firstly, what if, in coming 50 years Buckingham Collage is not able to maintain its reputation? Or what if number of admission drastically falls in coming years? Maybe, in coming 50 years game may change and predication made of next 50 years of doubling the admission may fail. Maybe, students started getting entice to nearby other collage. If this happens to be true then all money will be wasted in construction of new dormitories. It may even lead to debacle as number of dormitories will be left abandon. Predication for next 50 years seems to be byzantine and it can be benighted. If this happens to be true then memo written by director seems to be attenuate.
Secondly, what if housing price drop suddenly? Or what if students can still afford high housing price? In both scenarios, college will experience major debacle. Maybe, in next 50 years housing price reduce as more number of construction is happening off campus. If this happens to be true then in coming 50 years all students will shift to off campus. If in coming 50 years more number of admits are able to afford off campus housing in spite of high price then it is blatant that collage will experience some major loss. By considering this entire scenario it seems that memo written by the director does not hold any water.
Finally, what if majority of student enrolled in collage by seeing its education quality? Or what if majority of students don’t enroll by seeing dormitories? Maybe, most of the student get entice towards the collage by seeing its quality of education and placement after the education instead of seeing dormitories. Most of the students give dormitories second preference so it will not affect or rather increase the number of enrollment. In this scenario it is clearly seen that recommendation made by the director in his memo seems to be erroneous.
In conclusion, the evidence provided by the director, that supports his claim, is dubious as well as erroneous. However, if all questions are answer and more evidence is provided then it will strengthen the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2076 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.806 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.636 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.331 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.654 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 309, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
... campus housing is burgeoning so coming years student will not able to afford it and ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 491, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... evaluate some question must be answer. Firstly, what if, in coming 50 years Buc...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 343, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...getting entice to nearby other collage. If this happens to be true then all money ...
^^
Line 3, column 588, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...o be byzantine and it can be benighted. If this happens to be true then memo writt...
^^
Line 5, column 264, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...f construction is happening off campus. If this happens to be true then in coming ...
^^
Line 5, column 354, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... all students will shift to off campus. If in coming 50 years more number of admit...
^^
Line 5, column 417, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to off'
Suggestion: to off
...ore number of admits are able to afford off campus housing in spite of high price t...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the director does not hold any water. Finally, what if majority of student enr...
^^^
Line 7, column 552, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ctor in his memo seems to be erroneous. In conclusion, the evidence provided by ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, well, in conclusion, as well as, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2143.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 431.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97215777262 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74332098855 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.406032482599 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 654.3 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.4431613088 57.8364921388 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 82.4230769231 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5769230769 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.30769230769 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200419453801 0.218282227539 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0673204429219 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0647427944072 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116715237348 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0715207214076 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.25 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.