The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily, the argument is based an unwarranted assumption that southeastern Grilldon is the suitable building site for next HobCo Hobby Shop, rendering its main conclusion, a shop in Grilldon will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo costumers, invalid.
The argument fails to provide any justification that the research conducted in the city of Grilldon is logical. The survey based on which researchers concluded that residents of Grilldon will welcome the opening of a hobby shop must be further explained. For example, if residents of Grilldon are asked to choose between opening of a new factory that produces a lot of air and noise pollution or opening of a hobby shop, it is vivid that residents would definitely prefer a hobby shop rather than a factory. The argument could have been stronger had it provided some information about details of the survey conducted in that area.
The argument also leaves another unwarranted question. It is stated that 88 percent of people who participated in the poll responded that they will welcome the new hobby shop in the southeastern of Grilldon. However, it is not clear whether or not the number of proponents of hobby shop is significant compared to the total number of population of Grilldon. Researchers may have interviewed only a small number of people in the Grilldon who agreed with having a new hobby shop, therefore results of this survey are not acceptable.
Moreover, it is implied from the argument that the large number of retirees are supposed to use this new HobCo hobby shop. On the contrary, it is not stated if retirees are interested to devote their time to hobbies. In addition, it is not stated clearly in the argument that whether hobbies presented in this hobby shop are suitable for retirees and people of those ages or not. Furthermore, the argument could have been more convincing if it had stated that researchers also interviewed retirees and asked their opinion about opening a new hobby shop in their city.
Because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions it fails to make a conducive case that opening a new HobCo hobby shop in the southeastern of Grilldon will draw a steady stream of costumers.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The argument is flawed for numerous reas...
^^
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...husiastic new HobCo costumers, invalid. The argument fails to provide any jus...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the survey conducted in that area. The argument also leaves another unwarra...
^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...n of Grilldon. However, it is not clear whether or not the number of proponents of hobby shop ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 400, Rule ID: SMALL_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, use 'a few', or use 'some'
Suggestion: a few; some
.... Researchers may have interviewed only a small number of people in the Grilldon who agreed with ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of this survey are not acceptable. Moreover, it is implied from the argumen...
^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ning a new hobby shop in their city. Because the argument makes several unwar...
^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ning a new hobby shop in their city. Because the argument makes several unwarranted ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 205, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will draw a steady stream of costumers.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'for example', 'in addition', 'in conclusion', 'on the contrary']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.266832917706 0.25644967241 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.164588528678 0.15541462614 106% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0872817955112 0.0836205057962 104% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0448877805486 0.0520304965353 86% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0349127182045 0.0272364105082 128% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.149625935162 0.125424944231 119% => OK
Participles: 0.0523690773067 0.0416121511921 126% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.81087267161 2.79052419416 101% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0174563591022 0.026700313972 65% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.117206982544 0.113004496875 104% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0224438902743 0.0255425247493 88% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00997506234414 0.0127820249294 78% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2294.0 2731.13054187 84% => OK
No of words: 374.0 446.07635468 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.13368983957 6.12365571057 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.57801047555 96% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.358288770053 0.378187486979 95% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.288770053476 0.287650121315 100% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.227272727273 0.208842608468 109% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.128342245989 0.135150697306 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81087267161 2.79052419416 101% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 207.018472906 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.430481283422 0.469332199767 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 44.5370388754 52.1807786196 85% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.039408867 75% => OK
Sentence length: 24.9333333333 23.2022227129 107% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.6549538426 57.7814097925 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.933333333 141.986410481 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9333333333 23.2022227129 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.866666666667 0.724660767414 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 3.58251231527 251% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 53.8103386809 51.9672348444 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.91836734694 1.8405768891 104% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.501001257207 0.441005458295 114% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.167140358373 0.135418324435 123% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0723308556511 0.0829849096947 87% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.649686602118 0.58762219726 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.171978674447 0.147661913831 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.247096396359 0.193483328276 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0967507704867 0.0970749176394 100% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.44048442879 0.42659136922 103% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.102511237615 0.0774707102158 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.36810571317 0.312017818177 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0394537513955 0.0698173142475 57% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.33743842365 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.82512315271 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.82389162562 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.