The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing
Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author proposes the company to resume production of their alpaca overcoat, which they stop production due to the difficulties in geting wool fabric. To support this recommendation, the author cites the facts that no competitor is making alpaca overcoat and the price of clothing is higher. Undeniably, the ultimate goal of this proposal is to bring more profits to the company. But several evidence is needed to evaluate whether the advice is parctical before the company take the it.
To begin with, one of the most cricial peices of evidence needed be provided is that whether there is a demand for alpaca overcoat in the market. The author mentions that their major competitor no longer makes alpaca overcoats, but this peice of evidence is far from proving customers are willing to buy one. Because it is possible that competitors saw there was few damand for alpaca overcoats in the market, they stop producting overcoats. If the author can give the evidence that alpaca overcoats are still the trend for customers, the proposal of resuming the production of alpaca overcoats is highly strenthened. Otherwise, it may turns out the proposal is not practical.
Even if customers still like alpaca overcoasts, evidence that proving selling alpaca overcoats is profitable to the company is still needed. If the priece of fabric from the company's new supplier is high and the profit is low, maybe it is not worth to resume the production and the recommendation is therefore weakened. However, if the author can provide evidence that the priece of fabric is low enough to bring profits, then the company can consider the advice.
In addition, the fact that most types of clothing's price has increased in the past five years is a weak one to support the author's claim. Five year is relatively short period of time to indicate a possible trend in the future. It could happen that when the company strat selling alpaca overcoat, the economic situation might worsen so that price of clothing all decrease. Moreover, it is possible that consumer won't accept the high price of alpaca overcoat. Thus, the peice of evidence indicating that the price of alpaca overcoat can be set high and accpeted by the marker is needed to judge the practicality of the resuming production.
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- The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian a company that manufactures men s clothing Five years ago at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric we discontinued production of 74
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- The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian a company that manufactures men s clothing Five years ago at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric we discontinued production of 70
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1860 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.869 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.558 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.892 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 387, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some evidence'.
Suggestion: some evidence
... bring more profits to the company. But several evidence is needed to evaluate whether the advic...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 482, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...ce is parctical before the company take the it. To begin with, one of the most cric...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s of evidence needed be provided is that whether there is a demand for alpaca ove...
^^
Line 7, column 169, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...rs claim. Five year is relatively short period of time to indicate a possible trend in the fut...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, therefore, thus, in addition, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1899.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 381.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9842519685 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64384076294 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.469816272966 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 612.9 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.6463097892 57.8364921388 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 111.705882353 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4117647059 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47058823529 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117780801434 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0459286653133 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0447640271328 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0848025946448 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0310275815776 0.0628817314937 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.