The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The proposed explanation is about the a study conducted on rhesus monkeys. The study is trying to find correlation between birth order and individual's level of stimulation for humans species through studying rhesus monkeys. The are some alternative explanations that can be given to rival the proposed explanation.
It is mentioned that first borns of monkeys and humans show similarity in production of cortisol hormone. In stimulating situations, the amount of cortisol production is increased in both the infant monkeys and infant human. Thus, it can be conclued that there a similarity between rhesus monkeys and humans.
The study shows production of cortisols is almost double in firstborn then that for its younger siblings, in stimulating situations. The correlation between infant monkeys and humans is already extablished in above. So, taking this correlation into account it can be said that the when the infants of a human face stimulating stituations, the cortisol levels in first born is higher than its siblings.
The explanation states that during pregnancy, level of cortisol is higher in first-time mother monkeys than those who had several offspirngs before. So, it can be safely assumed that in humans too, during pregnany, the first-time mothers have higher levels of cortisols than that of other mothers that already have childern.
In summary, it can be said that there is a similarity between the rhesus monkeys and humans, and also there is a correlation between the order of birth and level of stimulations experienced by both the infants as well as the mother.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 254 350
No. of Characters: 1308 1500
No. of Different Words: 112 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.992 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.15 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.822 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.726 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.41 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.678 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 35, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: the; a
The proposed explanation is about the a study conducted on rhesus monkeys. The ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 225, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...pecies through studying rhesus monkeys. The are some alternative explanations that ...
^^^
Line 1, column 225, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...pecies through studying rhesus monkeys. The are some alternative explanations that can ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 211, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...lations experienced by both the infants as well as the mother.
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, so, then, thus, well, in summary, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1346.0 2260.96107784 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 254.0 441.139720559 58% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29921259843 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.99216450694 4.56307096286 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87935002758 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 117.0 204.123752495 57% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46062992126 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 411.3 705.55239521 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.6476151588 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.166666667 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1666666667 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207669888428 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0929877289574 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0807435183793 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135157347292 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0666350877792 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 98.500998004 57% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.