The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery.
“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
The argument put forth by the author is a classic example of cause-effect misconstrue which has lot of leaking taps in between which are needed to be closed at least in order to strengthen the argument and base ii on firm foundations. Author's very claim of replacing the present purchase manager with a scientist seems flawed conspicuously as no scientist can prove a better choice when the faculty of concern is the economic outlook and other factors despite the knowledge of materials do play a large role in the process of decision making.
In the opening statement itself the claim made by the author that "the falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing " seems quite outrageous and bold in a sense that how can one say with certainty that the delays in manufacturing are only responsible for the decrease in the revenue of the company as many other factors can also contribute in this falling of revenues like for example it may also happen that the market being quite volatile is going on a down track in terms of economical transactions .Moreover,there can also be other reasons like a big shiftover in the underpinning technology that is being used in the company which is leading to lower revenues due lack of skilled labour .So quite a lot of factors need to be considered before making such a claim or otherwise such a claim should be adequately backed up by proper quantitative figures .Although the reason as put forth by the directors for the delay in manufacturing may be true and is quite convincing but again this cannot be the sole reason for delays in the manufacturing like for instance it may have been the case that due to some major accidents that has happened in the course of time ,the manufacturing is severly affected .So similary this this reasoning is quite lofty which needs to be backed up with proper evidences.
Even if at some point one is convinced with the above reasoning that the delays are due to lack of knowledge of metals then one can look for external consultancies rather than shifting the manager of the entire purchase department which certainly seems to be over-exaggeration of the issue from the director's side which needs to be addressed as soon as possible although the directors do accept the various qualities that the purchase manager has which often gives space to doubt the decision of directors to shift the manager despite of having such fruitful qualities and brings the argument into question that whether this shift is tuely required in order to increase the revenue of the firm which can be addressed if efforts are directed towards increasing the efficiency of production and capturing the market by understand the needs of the market .
In concluding this review of the argument, I would like to comment that the argument do severely lack certain grounds which if taken care of will lead to an argument that increases the present scenario of falling revenues for the company .
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 510 350
No. of Characters: 2458 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.752 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.82 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.734 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 63.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.164 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.745 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 555, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...rack in terms of economical transactions .Moreover,there can also be other reasons...
^^
Line 5, column 557, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...ck in terms of economical transactions .Moreover,there can also be other reasons like a ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 565, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
...rms of economical transactions .Moreover,there can also be other reasons like a big sh...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 745, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ower revenues due lack of skilled labour .So quite a lot of factors need to be con...
^^
Line 5, column 747, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...er revenues due lack of skilled labour .So quite a lot of factors need to be consi...
^^
Line 5, column 909, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...backed up by proper quantitative figures .Although the reason as put forth by the ...
^^
Line 5, column 911, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Although
...cked up by proper quantitative figures .Although the reason as put forth by the director...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1217, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... that has happened in the course of time ,the manufacturing is severly affected .S...
^^
Line 5, column 1256, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e ,the manufacturing is severly affected .So similary this this reasoning is quite...
^^
Line 5, column 1258, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...,the manufacturing is severly affected .So similary this this reasoning is quite l...
^^
Line 5, column 1270, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: this
...turing is severly affected .So similary this this reasoning is quite lofty which needs to...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 852, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...et by understand the needs of the market . In concluding this review of the ...
^^
Line 13, column 125, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
... do severely lack certain grounds which if taken care of will lead to an argument ...
^^
Line 13, column 238, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ario of falling revenues for the company .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, at least, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 84.0 55.5748502994 151% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2498.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 510.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89803921569 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78300506422 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462745098039 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 791.1 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 102.0 22.8473053892 446% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 443.309643477 57.8364921388 766% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 499.6 119.503703932 418% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 102.0 23.324526521 437% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 16.2 5.70786347227 284% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22771319738 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101066880002 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0856991706888 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123029820638 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0824156185756 0.0628817314937 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 52.6 14.3799401198 366% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -32.05 48.3550499002 -66% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.1628742515 204% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 43.1 12.197005988 353% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.32 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.95 8.32208582834 144% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 42.8 11.1389221557 384% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.