The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where consumption of the plant beneficia is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of beneficia can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of nutritional supplements derived from beneficia. We predict this will dramatically reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
While it might be true that consumption of the plant beneficia is going to prevent colds; however, the author's argument does not make a cogent sense. It is easy to understand that colds might be the most reason for schools and workplaces absenteeism, but this argument is rife with holes and assumptions therefor, not strong enough to recommend the daily use of beneficia supplement.
The author mentions that a study report shows that doctor' visits for cold treatment are only once or twice per year in nearby East Meria; however, there are other ways than visiting doctor to treat colds. For example, a person who gets minor cold can use home remedy such as honey-lemon tea to treat her cold. On the other hand, most people do not go to a doctor for cold treatment unless if it is a severe cold. Moreover, there are differences between East and West Meria population which is an important factor to be addressed. A person who has strong immune system by exercising regularly and having a healthy can prevent cold naturally. To strengthen his/her suggestion, the author needs investigations about lifestyles of West and East Meria population.
Additionally, the author implies that colds are the main reason for schools and workplaces absenteeism, but the author does not provide any information to prove the assumption. Imagine a student who did not have enough time to finish her homework. As a result, she is scared to go to school because she does not want be embarrassed in front of her classmates and teacher. On the other hand, some employees are overwhelmed with their job duties, so they just call sick to have a day off for relaxation.
The author recommends that students and employees can prevent colds by taking nutritional supplements containing beneficia. Consequently, a significant reduction of absenteeism will happen. However, there is no data about beneficia supplement efficiency.
This suggestion is persuasive when the author gathers information about differences of West and East Meria population, efficiency of beneficia supplement for cold prevention, and the main reason for absenteeism. After answering these questions, the author can make such a conclusion.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1791 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.017 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.807 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.444 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.323 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 104, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...is going to prevent colds; however, the authors argument does not make a cogent sense. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, moreover, so, then, while, for example, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1836.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 356.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15730337079 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.929666205 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544943820225 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.2933952476 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.0 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9411764706 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52941176471 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0994833467043 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0349756203145 0.0743258471296 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0412549929989 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.052022327038 0.128457276422 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0316428236815 0.0628817314937 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.