In the above memorandum, the business manager claims that in order to reduce the cost of purchasing butter, the southeast and the northeast branches should also change to margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants. While the assertion from the business manager might prove true, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unwarranted assumptions that diminish its credibility.
To begin with, the manager assumes that 98 out of 100 of the restaurant customers are happy since only 2% of the customers complained. But this might not be the case. Even if not all, maybe a few out of the 98% might not have liked margarine but still chose not to complain about it, choosing not to make a fuss out of something so little of an issue. Perhaps, if the manager had conducted a detailed survey with all of the restaurant’s customers asking them if they liked the new change and if they preferred margarine to butter or if they have any complaints about the new change and such questions, then it would help the manager to bolster his assumption that 98% of the customers have no complaints with the change from butter to margarine.
Second of all, the business manager mentioned about the servers to have reported that when the customers who asked for utter was served with margarine, they didn’t complain about it. Then again this assumption might be false, because, oftentimes when customers experience an issue, when it’s only a minute problem at that, they tend to feel it's not worth the hassle of complaining about, so they won't bring it up at all. If this is the case, then there is a possibility that the customers do have complaints about them being served with margarine when they asked for butter but they just chose to stay quite about it. This could plausibly lead to the restaurant losing its customers.
Finally, the business manager had concluded that since the number of complaints is very less overall, the southeast and the northeast branches should also change to margarine from butter. Nonetheless, the rage of the customer chosen for this confirmation has not been mentioned such as the age and the gender of the customers, as well as the location of the branch, which matters a lot in this case. Say if all the customers chosen for this research has been in the age range of 40-45 or so, then they might tend to be more health conscious. And since margarine is healthier compared to butter, they might have had no complaints.
Or perhaps, this branch of the Happy Pancakes house restaurant could have been present next to a fitness centre or a gym, then the restaurants customers would tend to be people who frequent the gym or the fitness centre. Then again out of health considerations, these specific set of customers might prefer margarine to butter. Therefore, the manager needs to consider the other two branches location along with the age and the gender of the customers that frequent the other two branches before assuming that this “cost-saving change”, would be a success in the other branches too.
In conclusion, the argument, in its current form, is flawed as it lacks sufficient evidence to support its claims. The inclusion of more robust and relevant evidence would enhance the argument's effectiveness by providing a stronger foundation for its conclusions and increasing its credibility. Without such evidence, the argument remains unconvincing and fails to adequately support its claim. For the business manager to be more compelling and persuasive, it is imperative that he incorporate additional well-researched evidence that directly relates to the points he or she is making.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 611 350
No. of Characters: 2949 1500
No. of Different Words: 254 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.972 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.827 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.672 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 151 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 83 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.571 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 193, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun out seems to be countable; consider using: 'few outs'.
Suggestion: few outs
...t be the case. Even if not all, maybe a few out of the 98% might not have liked margari...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...er had conducted a detailed survey with all of the restaurant’s customers asking them if t...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 185, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguments'' or 'argument's'?
Suggestion: arguments'; argument's
...and relevant evidence would enhance the arguments effectiveness by providing a stronger f...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, may, nonetheless, second, so, still, then, therefore, well, while, in conclusion, such as, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3035.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 609.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98357963875 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96768813016 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76517225773 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436781609195 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 912.6 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 76.5217500538 57.8364921388 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.523809524 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.268503805651 0.218282227539 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0844925213721 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0748714653409 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150678793948 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0746241667411 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.2 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.