The following memorandum is from the manager of Bagel Mania Bakery Recently Bagel Mania replaced sugar with saccharin a sugar substitute throughout its bakeries in the Northeast areas of the USA Contrary to initial expectations this change did not have an

The manager of Bagel Mania bakery suggests that all of its branches from USA should replace sugar with saccharin pointing out the impact of the same change done in Northeastern areas of USA. This explanation made by the manager does not validate any of the facts. He has done nothing but jumped to an optimistic conclusion by testing the results on a small sample of population.

The manager states that 10 percent of total customers have argued with this change. He considers this as a small amount. But, he has not provided any proof or evidence supporting his claim. Also, he has not mentioned the category of customers who were surveyed. Saccharin is not as sweet as compared to sugar. This implies that there is a high chance of children disliking the replacement. If all of the branches replace sugar with saccharin, there is a high possibility of branches having majority of their customers as children to lose their business.

The survey about feedback of change in ingredients was recorded in Northeast areas of USA. The manager makes a baseless assumption that similar feedback will be recorded on other parts of the country. Also, he has not mentioned any of the products that the customers ordered during this survey. It is possible that food items ordered by customers during survey are intended to be less sweet. If the same replacement of sugar to saccharin is applied to cakes and desserts which are intended to be more sweet, there is a higher chance that negative reviews will be recorded during the survey.

The manager has not considered nutritional qualities of saccharin. If it is found that saccharin is more harmful than sugar, then this replacement will have a negative impact. He has not mentioned anywhere the costs of sugar and saccharin. It is a high chance that customers will have a great concern while ordering saccharin based food. If sugar is cheaper, then replacing it will lead to lower net-profit margins made by Bagel Mania. He has not provided any of the numbers which claim that saccharin is cheaper than sugar and is nutritionally beneficial as well. Hence, the manager has directly jumped to an optimistic conclusion based on some random assumptions.

The manager has done nothing but reached an optimistic conclusion of replacing sugar with saccharin. He has not provided any evidences or proofs which help in supporting his claim. Many factors are needed to be considered before making this kind of change in the whole USA.

Votes
Average: 7.2 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ults on a small sample of population. The manager states that 10 percent of to...
^^^
Line 3, column 394, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... children disliking the replacement. If all of the branches replace sugar with saccharin, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs as children to lose their business. The survey about feedback of change in i...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s will be recorded during the survey. The manager has not considered nutrition...
^^^
Line 7, column 667, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usion based on some random assumptions. The manager has done nothing but reached...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, so, then, well, while, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2063.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 417.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94724220624 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67349418397 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.438848920863 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 652.5 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.0242869756 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.52 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.68 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.08 5.70786347227 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31646634604 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0888878516732 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.090114438954 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.194634722238 0.128457276422 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0866140265825 0.0628817314937 138% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 14.3799401198 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 60 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 417 350
No. of Characters: 2014 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.519 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.83 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.68 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.613 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5