The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In a recommendation from the manager of Monarch books, the author concludes that opening an in-store cafe in the space currently devoted to children's books can increase the store's overall profits as well as ward off competition from another store that is opening its branch in Collegeville called Book and Bean. Although the cited pieces of evidence seem logical and probable, the conclusion on which the argument relies does not lend credible support to the argument. Hence the argument seems logically unconvincing in several aspects.
Firstly, the author assumes that opening an in-store cafe in their stores is going to increase their overall profits. Perhaps, the customers of the Monarch Books store are comfortable with the reader-friendly atmosphere of the store, and introducing an in-store cafe can disturb this atmosphere by creating chaos and thus cause discontentment among its customers. This, in turn, can lead to an overall decrease in the store's profits, and thus the purpose of the argument would be undermined
In addition to this, the author assumes that it would be prudent for the store to remove the children's section and replace it with a cafe. This decision was based on the results of a recent national survey that indicated a decrease in the population of children below 10 years of age. But the author fails to provides information such as what percentage of his customers are children? Perhaps if the profits of his store depended mostly on children then undertaking this decision would be considered foolhardy. Moreover, the author cites that the bookstore is known for the availability of a wide variety of books. Thus if they rule out the children's books from their stores then people won't perhaps visit their stores. It may also happen that most of the adults love to read children's books and hence removing the children's section can cause dissatisfaction among them and hence the shop would lose some of its valuable customers Thus, the author should at least acknowledge these major flaws and perhaps improve by stating the significance of the children's books section in comparison with the overall profits of the store.
Finally, the author assumes that they would be able to ward off the competition from the Book and Bean store after introducing the same facilities into their stores as that contained in the Book and Bean store. But the Book and Bean stores may have some additional facilities such as lower prices of the books and an improved ambience where readers can comfortably sit and read the books. Thus the readers may get attracted towards the new book store and hence the overall profits of the Monarch book stores may reduce.
To sum up, the argument consists of some obvious fallacies and loopholes. To strengthen the argument, the author should have provided additional information such as, what are the type of customers visiting their stores or what is the impact of removing the children's section on the overall profits of the stores or perhaps what other facilities are provided in the Book and Bean stores. But in the absence of this data, the conclusion relies on some doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 530 350
No. of Characters: 2636 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.798 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.974 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.667 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 186 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.509 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.895 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 465, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... lend credible support to the argument. Hence the argument seems logically unconvinci...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 250, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...atmosphere of the store and introducing a in-store cafe can disturb this atmospeh...
^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...with a cafe. This decision was based on the the results of a recent national survey tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...with a cafe. This decision was based on the the results of a recent national survey tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 312, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'provide'.
Suggestion: provide
...0 years of age. But the author fails to provides information such as what percentage of ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 617, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...availabilty of a wide variety of books. Thus if they rule out the childrens books fr...
^^^^
Line 7, column 407, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
... can comfartably sit and read the books.Thus the readers may get attracted towards t...
^^^^
Line 7, column 407, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... can comfartably sit and read the books.Thus the readers may get attracted towards t...
^^^^
Line 9, column 165, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... provided additional information such as , what are the type of customers visiting...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, well, in addition, such as, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2630.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 522.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03831417625 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77988695657 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63343075407 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425287356322 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 804.6 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 82.457396407 57.8364921388 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.111111111 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.05555555556 5.70786347227 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186560681466 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0620282505613 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.075722851002 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12325421381 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0586887448468 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.