The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumni who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all-female, therefore, will improve morale among students and convince alumni to keep supporting the college financially."
The college's governing committee asserts that remaining the current tradition in the college will lead to constant financial supporting on the college. However, the governing committee's assertion has several unsubstantiated assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, the governing committe provides a statistic held by the student government showing that 80 percent of the students want to sustain the college's tradition. However, to make this statistic persuasive there needs to be more information about it. There are no specific number of students who voted in the survey. Just providing the percentage is not enough to recognize the student's mind. Moreover, since the survey is held by the student government, there might be some distortion in the result. Perhaps, the survey was mainly by someone who wants the current tradition.
Secondly, the governing committe cites that over half of the alumnae who answered a different survey opposed with the coeducation. However, the survey provided needs more information to be persuasive. The survey does not provide actual number of people voted in the survery. Thus, it does not cite actual percentage of the survey, showing only a rough result. This might distort the result of the survey since there might be some significant number of alumnae who argee with the coeducation.
Finally, the governing committee assumes that changing the tradition will lead to loss on financial support from its alumnae and students. However, this assumption does not consider other possible situation. There is no direct relationship between sponsoring the college and changing the college's policy. There is a need for more explanation on these relationships. Moreover, there is no actual number of people voted for the survey. Even if the percentage might be high, the effect of it will be feeble if the number of people who disagree with the change are low. Thus, there is a need for extra information about how much percentage of this patron influence the college financial.
Overall, the governing committee's decision on remaining the current tradition due to its financial support on students and alumnae relies on weak substatiation. Therefore, it fails to give logical explantion on its assertion and therefore unpersuasive.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-03-05 | tedyang777 | 55 | view |
| 2022-10-09 | Soumyadip Kar 1729 | 53 | view |
| 2022-09-10 | lauray | 59 | view |
| 2022-09-06 | Ninajm18118 | 57 | view |
| 2022-08-25 | Sujan Adhikari | 73 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.272 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.83 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.244 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.32 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 176, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'committees'' or 'committee's'?
Suggestion: committees'; committee's
... on the college. However, the governing committees assertion has several unsubstantiated a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 150, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'colleges'' or 'college's'?
Suggestion: colleges'; college's
...ent of the students want to sustain the colleges tradition. However, to make this statis...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 289, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'colleges'' or 'college's'?
Suggestion: colleges'; college's
...sponsoring the college and changing the colleges policy. There is a need for more explan...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1939.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.38611111111 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90274322148 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.452777777778 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 600.3 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.2979598809 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.1363636364 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3636363636 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09090909091 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.136638096076 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0434622673074 0.0743258471296 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0632028274001 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0968409714676 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0616333281121 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.69 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.