The following was written by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. At present, the nearest jazz club is over 60 miles away from Monroe; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. In addition, there is ample evidence of the popularity of jazz in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly.' Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. We therefore predict that the C Note cannot help but make money."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
According to the report submitted by the group of developers in the city of Monroe, a Jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. The evidence that they provide to support their argument is that the proposed club (the C Note) will have a monopoly in the city of Monroe, which houses many well known jazz musicians and a lot of residents are obsequious Jazz music fans. However before this reccomendation is properly evaluated, the following three questions must be answered.
Firstly, 100,000 people attending Monroe’s Jazz festival is not an concrete evidence that supports the fact that Monroe’s residents like Jazz. It is an assumption that all the people that attended the festival were residents of Monroe. Whereas, as is the case with most music concerts, it is not an abberation to believe that about half of the concert’s audience was not, in fact from Monroe. If that is the case, then the argument that Monroe’s residents are Jazz fans is significantly weakened.
Secondly, it is assumed that people who listen to Jazz on the radio will be regular customers to the proposed new Jazz music club in the city. There might be people who just want to listen to the music from the comfort of their homes. Also, there might be people who just listen to jazz while multitasking with some household chores or some other work. These people will not find it practical to visit a Jazz music club, even if it in their city.
Thirdly, there is no mention of the population of the city of Monroe. If we want to run a profitable buisness, then we require constant flow of customers which might not be possible in a small city with a small population. Maybe that was the reason why, the nearest Jazz club was setup in a city which is bigger in size than Monroe.
In conclusion, the argument that stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the group is able to answer these questions and provide concrete evidence supporting their argument (perhaps in the form of a research study), then it will be possible to full evaluate the viability of the proposed Jazz club in Monroe.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1734 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.649 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.562 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.52 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.361 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 397, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...sidents are obsequious Jazz music fans. However before this reccomendation is properly ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 65, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...attending Monroe’s Jazz festival is not an concrete evidence that supports the fac...
^^
Line 4, column 305, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: bigger
... Jazz club was setup in a city which is bigger in size than Monroe. In conclusion, the argume...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, whereas, while, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1783.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78016085791 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66658610472 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.461126005362 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.5825879487 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.4375 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3125 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355013559574 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120942280346 0.0743258471296 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111443778659 0.0701772020484 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191382337151 0.128457276422 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0920475764909 0.0628817314937 146% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.